SAILOR SCOUTS visit GOTHAM

a fanfic crossover by Jennifer A. Wand (Sailor Newbie/NetBatMovie
Spoiler) 

some continuity notes:

This is written with some in-jokes to the Sailor Moon/Power Rangers story
I read about a year ago.  In that story, the Power Rangers went on an
exchange to Tokyo and the Sailor Scouts helped them defeat Lord Zedd
there.  They don't appear in the story, thank goodness, but they do help
set it up.

In Sailor continuity, English names are used but otherwise continuity is
as faithful as I could make it to the original series.  It is set during
the Zoycite/Malachite arc, after "A Crystal Clear Destiny."  I guess I
did keep some things from the American series, because I know it better
than the original.  So don't be too picky with me. :)
          Specifics:  1) Zoycite is male, to please the purists and for
                    the sake of one line in Part 4!!
                     2) Mars's scroll attack is "Evil Spirit Begone!"
                    not "Fireballs Charge!"
In Batman land, the story is in Animated Series continuity (with some fun
in-jokes to comics!)

*********

     "O boy o boy o boy o boy!  This is so coooooool!"  shrieked Serena,
so loud the whole room shook.  

     Luna looked up warily from her comfortable spot on the bed.  "What
is it now?" she groaned, for Luna was used to things being so cooooooool. 
"No, let me guess.  New guy, new video game, new comic book?"

     "Wronnng!" Serena gloated, kneeling to grin knowingly in the gray
cat's face.  

     "Umm... old video game, new high score?" Luna shrugged.

     "Wrong again, Luna!"  Serena grabbed her cat and spun her in merry
wheels around the room.  Luna meowed in surprise and dizziness.  "We are
gonna go to the U. S. of Aaaaay!"

     After surviving spinning, shrieking, and squeezing, Luna managed to
pull herself free of the hyperactive teenager.  She regained her
bearings. "Now.  Serena.  Did I hear you right?  Now start at the
beginning and tell me what this is all about."

     Serena tried to calm her rapid breathing, and sat on the bed. 
"Well, ya remember those kids who came here on exchange last year?"

     "I certainly do," said Luna seriously.  "Those were no ordinary
kids."

     "You're telling me," breathed Serena, starry-eyed.  "Tommy and Rocky
were sooooo cute!"

     "You know what I'm talking about," insisted Luna.

     "Yeah yeah... they were Power Rangers and all that," droned Serena.
"Who cares.  Not like they were any help to us."

     "This is true," Luna conceded.  "After watching them grunt and flail
their arms, and those horrible clumsy robots of theirs,  I swore I'd
never reprimand you again."

     "Yep, you're pretty lucky to have me around," Serena said
flippantly.

     Luna snarled and gritted her teeth. "Don't... push... your luck."  

     Serena knew she'd better get on with the story.  "Anyhow... so since
they came to our school, we were supposed to go to their school, except
that ugly guy we fought went and tore down the place again.  So they're
rebuilding, and now some rich guy is letting some high schoolers go to
this other city. Er... Gotham I think is the name.  And he said I could
go, and so is Lita, and so is ... er... **Rei***," Serena fumed for a
split second. "Anyhow, I'm psyched!!!" With that, she embarked on a
series of hyper shrieks that could have leveled a china shop.

     "I wonder if America can handle this girl," Luna groaned.

*********

     Malachite sneered as he approached the throne.  "This plan cannot
fail, my queen," he said, offering Queen Beryl a reverent bow. 

     "It had better not," she replied sharply, waving her hands
mystically over her black crystal ball.  "You must stop those Sailor
Scouts from interfering."  

     "They shall not get in the way this time," Malachite told her.

     "His plan is pure genius, Queen Beryl," added Zoycite from a few
inches behind Malachite.  He looked up admiringly at his handsome lover.

     "Since Lord Zedd attempted to attack Tokyo, thus avoiding the Power
Rangers, I thought we might follow his lead and gather energy from
America, where the Sailor Scouts will not be there to stop us.  There are
superheroes in America, but they are too concerned with petty crime and
are not familiar with our schemes."

     Queen Beryl pondered.  "You plan sounds most promising, Malachite. 
We will need energy to seize the Silver Empyrean Crystal from that Sailor
Moon, and I need time to win Prince Darien over to our side.  But America
is a very large continent.  You must find a location with the most energy
available for your taking."

     "I have anticipated your concern, Queen Beryl," Malachite said
confidently.  "We have found a place called Gotham City.  It is rife with
what humans call seedy bars, strip joints, and crime families."

     "And if that's not enough," Zoycite chimed in, "There is an asylum,
filled with maniacs who constantly escape to terrorize the people.  The
hysteria and fear they create will provide us with much energy, and dark
energy at that.  It will be most effective when applied to releasing the
Negaforce."

     "Very good," said Beryl.  "Now get to work, you two.  And Zoycite--
don't forget this is your last chance to redeem yourself for trying to
destroy Tuxedo Mask.  Do NOT disappoint me!"  She waved her hands
impatiently, dismissing the pair.

     "Your majesty," cried Malachite urgently.  "I must tell you of one
possible risk, a crime-fighting duo who..."

     "Enough!" snapped Beryl.  "I am sick of your worrying.  Go, and do
not fail me this time!"

*********

     "We are now approaching Gotham International Airport.  Please return
your seats to their..."  The message repeated itself in Japanese.  Serena
blinked sleepily and gave a huge yawn, stretching out her arms and legs
in the cramped airline seat. 

     "OW!  Ser- EE-- na, watch it!"  Rei grumbled next to her.  "You
almost poked me in the eye!"
     
     "I was STRETCHING!"  Serena said defensively.

     "Why don't you stretch AFTER the plane lands!" retorted Rei.

     "Oh come on, Rei... I've been stuck in this awful seat for
practically a year, next to a total grouch, it's three PM and I think
it's three AM, and I'm about to land in some weird country.  So why not
just give me a break!?" Serena ranted, ending her monologue with a
familiar flood of tears. "Waaaaa!"

     At the window in front of them, Mina looked down with a face full of
wonder.  "It's great!" she breathed.  

     "Isn't it?"  Ami echoed effusively.  "I just can't wait to see all
the sights!  The museums, the historical buildings..."

     "...the nightclubs, the arcades, the guys!" finished Lita.  Ami was
about to protest that she wasn't going to finish her sentence like THAT,
but from behind them came a yell of pain and a fume of anger, followed by
a defensive "I was just trying to get my bag!!"  Luckily, the plane hit
the ground with a loud bump before many sparks were able to fly.

*********

     "This way," Mina groaned as her friends scampered through the halls
of Gotham International.  Serena was singing an off-key chorus of "I want
to be in a-MER-i-ca" in heavily accented English, and Rei was constantly
asking "Hey, Mina, what does that sign say?  What about that one?"  Mina
was glad when they reached the luggage claim.  Finally, the girls could
do something that didn't need a constant interpreter.

     Rei, Lita, and Ami pulled their suitcases off the conveyor belt. 
When Mina got hers, Lita suddenly said, "There's something moving in your
bag!" Indeed there was... something wriggling in one of the large extra
pockets.

     Mina was unsurprised.  "Well of course!  I wasn't about to leave our
friends behind.  Would you?"  Lita looked confused, but grinned when Mina
unzipped the pocket and out popped Luna and Artemis!

     Luna crawled wretchedly into Ami's arms.  "That was, without a
doubt, the most unpleasant eight hours I have ever spent," she moaned.

     "What, you didn't like my singing?"  Artemis quipped, although he
looked a little green himself.  Luna hissed at him.  "Seriously," Artemis
said, "we thought we'd help you out with getting around here."  He did a
tiny backflip across Mina's shoulders, and five sets of shining gold
earrings appeared in the five girls' hands.  "These are translators," he
explained. "They'll help you speak and understand everything you hear. 
Just a little bonus from the two of us." 

     "Wow, thanks!"  Serena grinned, putting the earrings on.  "They're
way too cool looking too!  Look at me, I'm an American now!"  She did a
little model-turn, the gold earrings flashing.  Suddenly her expression
changed. "Ack!  That's my suitcase!"

     The scouts laughed as Serena tore after the runaway bag.  When she
got hold of it, the weight was too much for her to pull it off.  Serena
ended up flying down the conveyor belt, shrieking, attached to the handle
of a renegade suitcase.  The wild ride ended when she crashed against a
green turtleneck who picked up her bag and said jokingly, "Should have
traveled light, eh, Meatball Head?"

     Her head spinning, Serena looked up and saw a fuzzy dark-haired
figure with a cocky smile.  "Darien?" she murmured confusedly.  Had he
escaped the Negaverse and come back to her?  Her cheeks started to flood
with color and she smiled joyfully.

      But as the fuzziness faded and Serena regained her head, she saw
that the figure was not the annoying boy she loved to hate and had
learned to love. "Hi," he said.  "My name's Dick.  Dick Grayson.  Are you
okay?"

     Serena turned bright pink.  "Um, uh, I was just um.. well, yeah..."
She let her voice trail off and just concentrated on staring at the stud. 
Was she floating on a cloud?  If she didn't know better, she might think
he was Tuxe... but then she remembered something.  "Scuse me," she said,
straightening up.  "Did you call me... MEATBALL head?"

     Dick grinned.  "Well, yeah.  That is what ya look like, Meatball
Head."

     Serena hear a snicker from behind her.  Fists flailing and eyes
flaming, she ranted, "I am NOT a meatball head!  Am not am not am NOT!" 
Dick suddenly wished he had brought an umbrella to escape the shower of
tears.
     
     "Chill out," he said hastily.  "It was just a joke!  What's your
name?"

     "I'm.. uh... Serena," she said, struggling to remain sensible in the
face of such studliness.  It must have been the goofy look on her face,
because she definitely heard Lita tell the others to pretend they didn't
know her.  So Serena said audaciously, "And these are my friends.  Ami,
Mina, Lita..."

     "And I'm Rei," the dark haired girl said flirtatiously, stepping
forward.  She batted her eyelashes while Serena looked on glaringly.  "So
tell me, Dick, are you from around here?"

     Serena butted in angrily.  "And this," she grinned through gritted
teeth, "is my cat Luna.  And Mina's cat is Artemis.  We've all come on
exchange from Japan!"
     
     "Wow, your English is pretty good!"  exclaimed Dick.

     Serena fiddled nervously with her earring.  "Yeah, well... we've
worked pretty hard at that."  She elbowed Rei just in time to knock the
snappy comment out of her.

     "If you don't mind me asking, " Dick wondered as he petted Artemis,
"how did you manage to take two cats on an international flight without
cages or...?"

     Serena saw her chance and pointed at Rei.  "Ask her about that.  In
fact, ask her about anything that seems a little suspicious.  It's
probably her fault anyway."

     Rei was about to answer when Lita cut between the two.  Ami and Mina
grabbed the growling girls' hands and led them away while Lita babbled
hurriedly, "Jet lag, you know, they can get kinda cranky, we need to get
them to bed, see ya 'round, BYE!"  And she dashed away.

**

     The Joker played cat's cradle with an empty piece of air in his cell
at Arkham Asylum.  He'd asked for a piece of string, but the guard had
refused, thinking the maniac might strangle the messenger.   "Now would I
do a thing like that!?" the Joker chuckled to himself, as his fingers
held the imaginary web... a web to catch a bat maybe?  Bat's cradle? 
"I'd never do anything like that... I'd do JUST that!"  The clown erupted
in maniacal laughter.  "Ya ha ha ha ha hee hee hee hee hee ha ha...
hunh?"  Cautiously, he turned around, and then exploded in giggles again. 
"Imagine that.  The NERVE of this place.  They won't give me a silly
piece of string, but they let floating swamis in here!  Just goes to show
ya what's wrong with asylum management these days..."

     "Listen," Zoycite yawned, for he was floating a few feet off the
floor of the Joker's cell, "You're my last stop today, and I want to
relax with my boyfriend tonight, so let's get this over with.  My name
is-"

     "I know!" volunteered the Joker, raising his hand eagerly. 
"You're... Neron, and you want me to sell you my immortal soul! Ya ha ha
ha ha ha!"

     Even Zoycite giggled.  "Sounds like a really bad comic book... But
anyhow, no, you're wrong.  My name is Zoycite and I'm going to set you
and all your friends free.  All I want is for you to wreak a little
havoc, and I'll feed of the energy of your victims.  I'll even throw in a
little Negapower."

     "Hmmm..."  the Joker fell backwards off his bench and hung upside
down in thought.  "Sounds like too good an offer to pass up... now the
real joke would be if I passed it up anyway!"

     Zoycite stared in disbelief as the clown giggled at that absurd
idea. Then he smiled deliberately.  "That's your choice, but it would be
a shame. You'd be passing up the chance to play some great jokes on
everyone out there. Especially with the Negaforce to aid you."

     "Ya know, yer right."  The Joker stood up.  "Okay, Mister Chop
Suey-cide..."

     "That's Zoycite," he glowered.

     "Whatever."  The Joker waved the issue away.  "All right.  I'll take
you up on your little deal. Shake on it?"

**
     
     Andy, walking through the maximum security wing on his daily round,
heard the sound of a joy buzzer and a yell of surprise.  But the hefty
guard was barely able to grab his walkie talkie when a piercing "Zoy!" 
echoed through the halls, and all hell broke loose.

**

     It had been a day and a half, and the still jet-lagged but excited
girls were headed home for the evening.  "This is TOO amazing!"  cried
Serena. "I mean, can you BELIEVE this place?  It's out of this world!"

     "I don't know," Lita said, looking around suspiciously.  "Maybe it's
just me, but this town gives me the creeps."

     "Me too," mused Rei.  "Not Negaverse-type vibes thought.  More
like...this place is just always scary."
     
     "Oh, you guyyys!"  Serena drawled, puckering her face into a
patronizing grin.  "It's just a big city, and personally, I think it's
cool."

     Ami and Mina looked at each other and shrugged.  "Whattaya gonna
do," Mina smiled.

     The fivesome turned a corner, and the cold shadow of a brick
building fell on them abruptly.  Serena pressed her lips together, and
her eyes glistened nervously.  Ami shuddered and wrapped her coat tight
around her small frame.

     "Don't you know girls aren't supposed to walk around Gotham alone at
night?"

     The voice came from behind them.  Everyone whipped around.  In the
dim light, they could make out the figures of three punks with leather
jackets and snarling expressions, and in their hands glinted slivers and
one cylinder of silver.  "Oh jeez..."  stammered Serena.  "I wanna go
hooommmme..."

     Lita glared at the hoods, her adrenaline racing.  "What is that
supposed to mean?   You must have never met girls like us before!"  Her
hands clenched into tight fists.  One of the hoods approached her
menacingly.

     "Please..."  Serena tugged on Lita's sleeve.  "This isn't Tokyo, we
don't know who they are, let's just go..."

     Lita shook her off.  "You think you're so tough, big boy?"  she
growled impulsively.  Ami tried to step forward to tell her this wasn't a
good idea, but found herself knocked flat on her back as the hood charged
Lita.  He rammed into her hard, toppling her over, but she rolled to her
feet and threw him to the ground with a defiant "Ha!"

     This small victory sent Rei into full warrior mode, and she
delivered a powerful blow to Lita's opponent as he was about to get up
and grab the brown-haired fighter around the legs.  Then, Rei let out a
small cry and dropped, when the punk managed to graze her leg with his
knife.

     Lita gave a gasp as two sets of hands grabbed her arms.  The two
other punks held her still, despite her wildcat-like struggles.  One
raised a gun to her temple, and she grimaced and squinted sideways at it. 
"Now," the guy sneered, "are you girls gonna behave?"

     Rei, kneeling on the pavement, clutched her wound. Her eyes blazed.
Serena looked at Ami and Mina, and saw the decisive look in their eyes. 
No way were street punks going to take out the Sailor Scouts.  Serena
looked ahead determinedly, spread her fingers wide, and began to cry,
"Moon Pr..."  

     A sharp object whizzed by.  Serena drew her hand back quickly.  The
thing clanged against the punk's gun.  As both gadgets dropped to the
ground, Lita found her chance and elbowed her way free.  The five girls
and the three flustered punks looked up to see where the strange
bat-shaped thing had come from.

     "Ohh," said Serena, her jaw dropping.

     On the roof above them sat a mysterious caped figure.  His dark cap
and mask reminded Serena of someone back in Japan, but underneath the
yellow lined cloak was a brightly colored red and green costume.  The
stranger gave a smile and nodded, his dark hair ruffling.  "Don't you
know how to treat a lady?" he said tauntingly to the punks.

     They seemed to recognize him, and backed away.  "Who IS he?"  Serena
mouthed, eyes starry with wonder.

     Mina was equally lovestruck.  "Bet he's called... the Traffic Light
Knight!"

     Serena was about to utter a clueless "Huh?"  when a whoooshing sound
whipped through the air.  She drew in a ragged gasp.  It was hard to tell
in the dim light what happened next, but a huge caped figure swooped down
from behind them, and there were sounds of grunts and punches.  Another
whoosh, and the five girls were alone on the sidewalk once more.

     "What was that?"  Rei gasped.

     "Beats me," answered Mina, "but the... uh... Traffic Light Knight is
gone."  She looked dejected.

     "Guys!"  shouted Ami, wild-eyed.  "Look!"

     Four heads turned.  Hanging from a broken streetlight was a pinata
of three wriggling punks.  The package was bound tightly in wire and
knotted around a metal device shaped like a bat.

**

     Disheveled and exhausted, the girls trudged up the stairs to their
bedroom.  "I can't believe that," Rei fumed, as Serena flopped down on
the bed with a loud thud.  "I thought they told us this trip was going to
be safe!  We should sue them!"  Rei ranted on, as Serena groaned and
rolled over.

     "Stop your yakking," she said sleepily.  "At least that rich guy
Wayne or whoever paid for us to stay in a hotel.  Maybe he should have
found babysitting for you, though!"

     Lita, in the meantime, had turned on the television.   A red-haired
newswoman was speaking briskly and looking intensely out from the screen.
"I'm Summer Gleeson, and you're tuned to Channel 6 News at 11.  The rash
of strange robberies continues in the wake of the Arkham Asylum breakout. 
No casualties so far, supposedly due to the Batman's intervention, but
there have been several injuries.  Despite those reports that the Batman
has been sighted at crime scenes, none of the criminals have been
apprehended so far. Witnesses describe unusual abilities in Gotham's
all-too-familiar criminals, from increased strength and weaponry to even
the supernatural.  These reports are unsubstantiated, and police assure
the public that these descriptions do not fit with the perpetrators'
usual methods.  We'll be back in a moment with a live report."

     The screen faded to commercials.  "What in the world?"  Lita
muttered.
"I wonder..."

     "Oh, haven't you had enough crazy people for one night?"  Serena
yawned.  "I wanna go to sleep!"

     "No, she's right," Luna said, coming out from underneath one of the
beds.  "Something smells fishy about that report."

     "You don't think... the Negaverse?"  Lita turned on Luna. 

     "That is precisely what I think," Luna answered.  

     "And what did they say about that... Batman?"  Rei mused, leaning
forward and furrowing her brow.

     "He's a crimefighter here,"  Ami asserted from the other side of the
room.  "The Batman, they call him, and his partner Robin.  I made sure to
study a little bit about this city before we came here.  I thought it
might come in handy."

     "Whooo cares?" droned Serena, burying her head in her pillow.

     "I do," said Mina suddenly.  "Look!"

     They rushed to the window.  Lighting up the smoggy night and the dim
flicker of streetlamps was a huge circle of light that seemed to envelop
the whole sky.  It was only eclipsed in the middle by a dark shadow, all
swooping curves and angles, shaped like a bat.

     Serena turned around immediately and dove into her pillow again.
"This is too weird, I wanna go home, I don't like this..."

     Ami gasped.  "Hey.  Doesn't that look like the thing on the end of
the rope before, the one that tied up those muggers?"

     "You know, you're right," said Lita, recognition dawning on her
face. "Wonder what it is."

     "Bet it has something to do with that Batman."

     "Oh Rei, if it has a MAN in it you're desperate to find it."

     Sparks and pillows flew.  Ami ducked under the crossfire, and dug a
stack of newspapers out of her bag.  "I've got it!"  she cried, and both
warring parties stopped in mid-throw to stare at her.  Mina sat down to
listen, and Lita looked thoughtful.  "Rei, you were right.   It's called
the Batsignal.  They say that when the city's in trouble, or when there's
a dangerous criminal on the loose, the police use that to call him.  No
on knows who he is, so they have to shine a light over the entire city to
let him know they need him." 

     Serena suddenly collapsed in a fit of giggles.  "This is too weird!
As IF!  You really believe this?"

     Rei retorted, "I used to know this crybaby who somehow got
superpowers..."

     "All right, all right," Artemis declared, crawling out from under
the bed where he had taken up temporary residence.  "Enough of this. 
Somebody should check it out."

     "Yeah!  Let's go!"  Mina said, jumping up excitedly, but Artemis
shook his head.  

     "Nope.  Luna and I will take care of it.  A few stray cats are a lot
less conspicuous than five girls in sailor suits."

     Mina grumbled.  "You've got a point."  She opened the window as Luna
and Artemis leapt up to the windowsill.  The two cats jumped out onto the
head of a gargoyle, tripped across a clothesline, and disappeared into
the city night.

**

     Commissioner Gordon drew his coat tighter around him, sucked in a
breath of cold air, and waited.  Beside him, the burning Batsignal
glowed, but it didn't help ease the chilly night's bite or the tough old
cop's mind.  He had seen plenty of strange things in this town... heck,
he was waiting for one... but he was at a loss for words tonight. 
Everything familiar and predictable about these maniacs had disappeared. 
None of their weak spots were weak anymore.

     "Jim."  A deep voice behind him.

     With a start, Gordon turned around.  "...Oh.  It's you. Why I'm not
used to that by now I don't know."  He pushed his glasses up on his nose
and, with a grunt, pulled the lever down to extinguish the huge
spotlight.  

     "I assume you have a riddle for me," his companion said.

     "You figured out it's Nygma already," Gordon said matter-of-factly. 
"That I'm not surprised at.  Yes, I suppose I do have a riddle for you." 
He uncrumpled the scrap of paper in his hand and cleared his throat.

     
          "On bended knee Matt offered me
          and grabbed her hand to hold her
          But she kicked him round
          And threw me out.
          Find me, Batman, if you dare,
          Because this pinhead's got news to share."

     "A ring," the deep voice stated immediately.

     "I know," said Gordon.  "But it's hardly enough to go on.  He could
be robbing a jewelry store, a circus, heck, even another ring of
mobsters.  There's got to be more to it.  But-"

     "Hang on," the other said urgently.  Gordon was about to stutter
"What?" when he heard it too-- the scampering of light footsteps.  He
made a grab for the gun at his side, turned around quickly, and then let
out a long sigh of relief.   Two cats scampered across the rooftop, one
white, one black.  They leapt onto another roof and vanished.

     Gordon chuckled.  "Well.  So will you get back to me about that... 
Batman?" He turned back around to face an empty roof.  "Yeesh.  Don't ask
me why I'm not used to THAT, either."

**

     "A ring," said Ami.

     "We know.  We heard him solve the riddle," answered Luna.  "But it's
not much."

     "I'll tell you what bugs me," said Rei, her eyes in suspicious
slits. "'News to share.' Reminds me of what they said on the news
tonight... about them being stronger lately."

     "I have a baaaad feeling about this," groaned Luna.

     Lita, who had been facing the window, suddenly whirled around. 
"Wait a minute," she blurted out, "There's another clue hidden in that
riddle."

     They stared at her blankly.

     "Think about it!  I was thinking why the guy in the riddle was named
Matt, and then I thought Mat!  Listen... knee, mat, grab, hold, kick,
throw, pin, round... they sound like wrestling terms, don't they?  What
if the ring is a wrestling ring?"

     "Yes!" Ami chimed in.  "And there's a wrestling championship going
on right now!  I saw it in the paper.  Midnight Wrestlefest."

     "Wrestling.  Oh, GREAT," Serena yawned.  "Why can't we just let that
Bat guy handle this?  It's his city!"

     "Not if the Negaverse is involved," Luna said seriously.  "Come on.
Let's get to that contest."

     The girls rushed out the door.  "Anyone got any Moon Coffee Power?"

**

     "Ladies and gey---yentlemen!  It's time for the Midnight
Wrestlefest!"

     The unruly crowd erupted anew in cheers.  Curses and styrofoam beer
cups flew in the packed auditorium.  A disgusting, classless, brawling
madhouse, and in Gotham there were countless such places.

     "In this corner, wearing the red and black... you better confess
your sins because he IS our champion, the Avenging Angel, Azrael!"

     The musclebound blond flexed for the roaring crowd, and grabbed the
mike.  "I AM the champion!" he snarled.  "And that challenger better
watch out, because I got a SYSTEM and I am gonna PUNISH him!"

     The ref snagged his mike back.  "And in this corner," he said,
crossing the ring, "our challenger, wearing green.  You wanna talk about
a mystery challenger, he's the one, the big question mark himself! 
Ladies and gentlemen, the Master Maniac of Mystery... the Riddler!"

     Boooos broke out as the figure in green shedded his coat.  This was
not the short, lanky fellow they saw pictures of in the tabloids.  Same
height, maybe, but this one was pumped up, muscular, like a
steroid-saturated version of himself.  He advanced on the ref and
snatched the mike.  "Don't believe it's me?" he said in his usual calm
tone.  The crowd booed on, not bothering to listen.  The Riddler lost
patience and screamed into the mike, practically breaking it in his huge,
clenched fist.  "HEY!"

     Feedback flooded the amps and the Riddler's voice resounded.  The
mob settled down, and he went on.  "Don't believe it's me, eh?  Neither
do I sometimes, but I like it!  Well, riddle me this, you brainless
buffoons.  When does the challenger win before the match begins?  When
he's stolen all the prize money beforehand, of course!  Sorry, Azzy."  He
looked at the fuming wrestler with a face full of melodramatic sympathy. 
"But don't worry, folks, you're still going to get a show.  You see, I
sent a little invitation to a friend of mine, and he should be showing up
pretty soon.  Can't wait to try out these new muscles on Batman!"

     The crowd went wild.  Frenzied cheering resounded.  In the chaos, no
one noticed the strange things happening on the fringes of the madness...
two figures creeping stealthily along the rafters, far above the arena...
five agile girls vaulting over the entrance gates... a small-boned man
smiling wickedly, slitting his eyes and nodding in approval.

     The Riddler had begun to tease the audience, calling a singsong
"Riddle me this, Batman, where are you hiding?"  But in the meantime, the
wrestler Azrael had gotten up and was growling in the madman's direction.
Just as the Riddler was rambling, "and riddle me this!  What kind of
person breaks us out of Arkham and tells us to go cause trouble?  He'd
sure be the Bane of Batman's existence..."  Azrael slammed the
unsuspecting brainiac to the ground!

     "You may have the dough," he said through gritted teeth as the crazy
roaring surged yet again in the audience, "but I'm still the king around
here, bub!"

     "Are you, now?" retorted the pinhead coolly, leaping to his feet and
throwing Azrael backwards.  

     But the seasoned wrestler was up in a flash, and gripped Riddler.
"You lissen to me!"  he slurred angrily.  "I am Azrael, the avenging
angel, da Champion a' dis ring and da Champion a' justice, and for your
sins, Mr. Riddler, I will PUNISH you!"  He snarled and choked his victim
harder.

     "Hey!  That's my line!"

     The voice was small, but fierce, and the audience gasped.  Two
swirling capes, about to make a downward spiral into the thick of it all,
stopped abruptly.  

     Five girls leapt into the wrestling ring.  Each wore a sailor
costume with a shining gold tiara and a colored skirt.  In the front of
the group was a beautiful, young-looking blonde with pigtails that
reached practically to her toes.  She grimaced at the stunned pair and
raised her arm above her head dramatically.  "I am Sailor Moon!" she
cried, making a series of powerful gestures with her white-gloved arms. 
"The REAL Champion of Justice!  I know about you and your new powers, and
on behalf of the moon... I will punish you!"

     There was a moment of blank silence.

     Then, with a flourish, two caped figures swooped down from the
ceiling.  Huge winged shadows enveloped the room.  The audience drew in a
collective gasp, then broke out into clamorous shouting.  "It's Batman!"
     
     Screaming down like a dark lightning bolt, the Batman, a monstrous
tower of strength and intimidation, shot like an arrow down onto the
Riddler. As the maniac hit the mat face first, with a loud "Oof,"  Batman
grimaced and pinned him down with one navy-booted foot.  Almost
simultaneously, a streak of color flew onto the other wrestler.  Someone
shouted above the din, "It's Robin!  Wow!  What a show!"

     Robin grabbed the arms of the angry Azrael, restraining him from
attacking any of the eight uninvited guests.  At the same time, he turned
to the girls with an angry expression.  In a hushed voice, he scolded, "I
don't know who you think you are or what you think you're doing, but you
just ruined a perfectly good plan.  Batman and I WERE going to watch for
a while and see just how strong the Riddler had gotten.  Now, thanks to
you, we're fighting blind.  We haven't got a clue what we're up against.  
So I hope you're satisfied with your little hero routine."

     Sailor Moon looked like she was on the verge of tears, but Sailor
Mars shoved her way forward and glared in Robin's face.  "Listen, Mask
Boy, you're right, you DON'T know who you're up against, and you ARE
clueless.  We're the Sailor Scouts!"

     "I don't care if you're the Eagle Scouts," Robin fumed.  

     "Robin!"  called a grimacing Batman, struggling with the Riddler on
the wrestling mat.  "Don't bother.   They're not worth it."

     Sailor Mars turned on him.  "Oh aren't we?" she began.

     Batman gave her a dark look.  "Whoever you are, you don't know
Gotham. And nothing is going to help you here, no fancy moves, no Scouts,
nothing. You're dead unless you know this place."

     "But..." Sailor Mars interrupted.

     She was cut off by a loud *BONK* as a beer bottle flew up and hit
Batman squarely on the back of the head.  He lurched forward and shook it
off, but by then the Riddler was up.  Batman recovered and lunged at him. 
The Riddler could have sidestepped the blow, but instead he grabbed
Batman's arm and held it squarely.  Batman struggled.  Robin looked
concerned, but was still restraining the other wrestler.

     "Never thought I'D do this to you, did you, Batman?"  the Riddler
said arrogantly.  "I was always the brain, birdbrain, but I could never
match you for strength.  All you had to do was grab me, and I was done
for.  I think you were just jealous because I was smarter.  A 'grass is
always greener' type of thing.  Well, I hate to tell you this, but now
the joke's on you... har har har!  News flash, ladies and gentlemen!"  He
turned to the crowd, still maintaining a firm grip on the frustrated
vigilante.  "The Riddler is now a match for Batman brain for brain and
brawn for brawn!"

     The Riddler next faced the Sailor Scouts.  "And you, Sailor Whatever
You Are-s, I can't make heads nor tails of you.  But tonight's my night,
and nobody's stealing my thunder!"

     Sailor Jupiter drew her hand back and shifted into a fighting
stance. "I am Sailor Jupiter!" she cried confidently, "and I don't want
to steal your thunder... in fact you can have some of mine!  I call upon
the mighty forces of Jupiter to cut this weirdo down to size!"  The air
seemed to darken around the Sailor Scout, and a gust of wind tangled her
hair.  From her tiara extended a small gleaming gold rod.  

     With a crack, lightning burst in through the roof of the arena, and
gathered in a sparkling staticy haze around Sailor Jupiter.  She leapt
into the air and tucked her body into a tight ball, then extended her
limbs in a powerful gesture.  "Jupiter Thunder... CRASH!"

     Bolts of lightning and thunder shrieked through the air, and the
loud rumbling shook the entire auditorium.  The wave hit the Riddler head
on, and he let out a cry.  Batman took advantage of the moment to wriggle
free, and he rolled across the mat to a safe corner.  Once there, he
stared in disbelief at the triumphant Sailor Jupiter and her victim, who
seemed caught in a painful ball of static electricity.  The charge made
its way into the ground, however, and the Riddler was free, but weak and
gasping.

     "You should have listened to me," Sailor Mars said, smiling smugly.
"You may know Gotham, but WE know why all your criminals have become so
strong.   So don't forget us just yet."

     "I wonnn't," murmured Robin, looking admiringly at the five
teenagers in their amazingly short skirts.  His face broke into a silly
grin.  The two blonde Sailors were equally dazzled.  

     Then, abruptly, Robin's enamored face changed to an even more vapid
expression, as he was knocked senseless by the wrestler he had forgotten
to keep restraining.  In anger, Batman leaped to tackle Azrael, but lost
control of his foe.  The Riddler scrambled away.  "Well it's been a half
a laugh, Batman, but I gotta fly!   You know us Arkhamites, always
bumbling off to somewhere or other.  Till tomorrow!"  He dashed away.

     Sailor Moon growled.  "Not so fast, fella!  Moon Tiara Magic...
catch him!" Gripping her tiara between her thumb and forefinger, the girl
hurled it with an easy motion towards the escaping Riddler.  As the ring
flew, it began to sparkle, until it became a lasso of light entrapping
him tightly.   The Riddler wriggled, but he couldn't break free of the
magical bonds.  

     "Ha!" Sailor Moon gloated.  "We got 'im!"

     "Maybe so," muttered the Dark Knight knowingly, "but he's only the
beginning.  Harley Quinn, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and the Penguin are ALL
going to pull stunts before long."

     "Hunh?" the girl warrior said, "How do you know that?"

     "He TOLD me so," said the square-jawed hero, slitting his eyes.
Sailor Moon's jaw dropped.  "The Riddler hides clues in his every word. 
His fancy speeches have hidden meanings, and it's my job to figure them
out."

     "Enough of that," snapped Robin, who had recovered from his pounding
and had apparently injected Azrael with a sedative (since the wrestler
was now sleeping like a pussycat).  He snarled at the girls.  "I want to
know who you are and what you know.  Now."

     The five Scouts looked at each other, and something clicked into
place in each of their minds.  They seemed to melt into a dramatic,
battle ready position, and they looked straight at Batman and Robin, but
seemed to act as one.  Sailor Moon stood in front, and began:  "Our
planet is under attack by an evil empire called the Negaverse."

     Sailor Venus went on: "They feed on negative energy, like fear and
confusion and anger."

     "We have defeated the generals Jadeite and Neflite," Sailor Mercury
popped in, "but we are still battling Zoycite and Malachite."

     "They're here to collect energy for their scheme to capture the
Empyrean Silver Crystal," Sailor Mars declared.  

     "They are using these criminals to create negative energy,"
continued Sailor Jupiter, "but we're not going to let them succeed...
because we are..."

     "...The Sailor Scouts!"  they finished in unison.  Five voices
tumbled into each other: "On behalf of the moon... and on behalf of
Mercury... on behalf of Mars... and of Venus... on behalf of Jupiter..."

     "...we will right wrongs and triumph over evil!"  Sailor Moon cried
triumphantly.  Five eager pairs of eyes flashed with a satisfied sense of
completion.

     There was a moment of silence.

     "Um, wow," said Robin, "Do you guys rehearse that?"

     "Naw.... It's just natural, I guess!"  Sailor Moon stammered,
giggling.  The other Scouts looked at her, peeved.  She broke out into a
huge, embarrassed grin, then abruptly swallowed her smile as Batman
turned and advanced toward the group.  

     His cape swirling, he faced them.   "It's obvious you have
supernatural powers that work on this enemy, and you know their tactics
well. But let me warn you: Gotham's maniacs don't care for pretty
speeches.  They'll shoot you before the second word comes out of your
mouth.  So leave this to us."

     "I don't think you get it," retorted Sailor Jupiter.  "The Sailor
Scouts EXIST to fight the Negaverse.  Our powers are the only way to stop
them."

     "There's ALWAYS another way," said Batman shortly. Grabbing a tiny
rectangular mechanism from his side, the Caped Crusader wordlessly shot
several feet of line up into the rafters.  It caught on some steel beam,
and the line retracted, carrying him up into the stratosphere.  He
disappeared like a black raven flying into the night.

     Robin looked briefly up at him, then at the Sailor Scouts.  He
opened his mouth to say something, cracked half of a flirtatious smile,
then swallowed it hastily, shutting his jaw tight.  He shot his own
grapnel up and flew away. 

**

     Amidst the crisscross of beams high above the arena, Batman and
Robin were free to talk.  "Was that ever weird," Robin said, shaking his
head confusedly.  "Their powers are amazing!"

     Batman threw a brief, wry smile at his partner.  "You're thinking of
their skirts."  Robin shrugged and grinned.  "Back to business," Batman
said as the twinkle of humor disappeared from his dark eyes, "I get the
feeling they're not going to leave well enough alone.  So while I keep up
my surveillance on the Arkham escapees, I want you to watch them. 
They're bound to show up when there's trouble.  And I know you like
looking at them."  

     "Well, you're kind of cheery tonight!"  Robin said, stunned.  It
wasn't often Batman smiled twice in a minute.  Batman shot him a look,
and Robin shrunk back.  He wasn't supposed to say things like that,
reminding Batman that his dark walls might be breaking down.  Now, for
the rest of the night, Robin knew he could only talk business.  "I..."
Robin started hesitantly.  "I wonder if they are who they say they are. 
The Sailor Scouts. Hmm."

     "I'll run a computer check in the Batcave later," answered Batman,
climbing down through a maze of railings.  "But their powers seemed to
restrain the Riddler, and their story checks out so far."

     "I'll say!"  murmured Robin in surprise, and Batman followed his
gaze down toward the arena.  The Scouts were gone, but the wrestling ring
was still crowded with people.  In the shock of their meeting, neither
the Sailor Scouts nor the Dynamic Duo had noticed why the audience had
gone so suddenly quiet. But now they could see why.  Everyone in the
arena was unconscious, heaped on top of each other, and totally still. 
They looked as if the energy had been drained right out of them.

**

SAILOR SCOUTS IN GOTHAM (Part 2)

     Serena looked deep into Tuxedo Mask's eyes.  "Ohhhh..." she moaned
happily.  "Is it really you, Darien?  Have you come back to me?"

     "I love you and only you, Sailor Moon," the hunky hero declared.
Slowly, he reached up to his elegant white mask, while Serena stared on
with starry eyes.  The mask floated away in the wind, and Serena faced a
stunning Dick Grayson!  

     She smiled and leaned toward him, but a voice from behind her
called, "Wait!"

     She looked around.  "I love you more, Sailor Moon," said Robin,
walking towards her.  "Wait till you see who I really am!"  His voice
sounded like Andrew's... and he began to take off the mask...

     "Se-re-NAAAAAAAAAAA!"

     Eyes bulging and head pounding, Serena shot up like an arrow from
her comfortable position on the bed.  Once she saw that it was Rei, she
snapped back into bed like a rubber band, pulling the covers over her
head.  "Go away."

     "It's eleven o'clock, meatball head!  You told me you would get up
by nine!"

     Serena snuggled in closer to her pillow sleepily.  "Now when did I
tell you a thing like that?" she yawned.

     Rei, standing impatiently over Serena's bed, retorted, "The first
three times I woke you up, genius!"

     "And you BELIEVED me?" Serena said incredulously.  "Okay, okay, I'm
up, I'm up."  She lazily slipped out of bed, and gave a tremendous yawn,
stretching out her arms (and nearly knocking Rei over.)  After blinking
her eyes several times,  she finally was able to make out the figures of
Ami and Lita, sitting on a bed, all dressed and ready to go.  "Ohh.  Hi
guys."

     "Hi, Serena," said Lita, grinning.  "We have some good news for you.
We've finally found someone more annoying than you are in the morning!"

     "Oh yeah?" yawned Serena, rubbing her eyes.  "Who?"

     As if on cue, Mina came out of the bathroom, waltzing with a towel,
whirling around the room.  She collided with Serena, but faced the grumpy
lazybones with a disarming smile.  "Oh, hi there, Serena, you're up!  I
had the most wonderful dream last night... about the Traffic Light
Knight!  Da da da..."  She danced away, blonde hair and pink bathrobe
flying.

     Serena looked at her, then at her friends.  They nodded knowingly to
her.  "Scary stuff," Serena said.  Then a look of total panic crossed her
face.  "Oh no!  We're gonna waste the entire day!"  She began a whirlwind
path around the hotel room, tossing clothes everywhere and bumping into
walls and doors.  "Ack!  It's almost noon, and we haven't even gone out
yet.  Why'd you let me sleep so late, Reiii? Ack..."

     Rei, Ami, and Lita, as they were so used to doing, just looked at
each other and shrugged.

**

     "Where do we even go FIRST," murmured Mina, starry-eyed.  Five
Japanese girls were very, very lost in giant Gotham city, and loving
every minute of it.  Steep walls and sharp angles rose in every direction
into the smoggy sky, while gleaming white and brown automobiles, left
over from a half-century ago, chugged along the wide streets. 
Three-card-monte dealers tempted naive tourists with a wicked smile and a
flick of the finger, while harried executives hurried into office
buildings.  A glistening skyscraper bore the huge placard, "Wayne
Enterprises."  Not far away squatted a gritty brick building with glass
doors. 
     
     "Police headquarters," Ami said suddenly, and promptly got four very
confused looks.  
     
     "Wha--?  Where did that come from?"  Serena wondered, following
Ami's gaze to the building.  Then she saw the strange cauldron-like
spotlight positioned on the top.  "Ohh," she breathed.

     "Besides," grinned Ami, "there's a donut shop across the street."
Artemis, tucked in Mina's bag, stifled a snicker.

     "Let's remember where that is," said Rei matter-of-factly.  "We may
have to return there tonight.  Come to think of it, we should be on our
guard today.  No telling when things may start to get ugly."

     "But Rei, I want to go shopping!" Serena wailed, then fumed, "Oh,
I'm gonna make that  Negatrash pay for spoiling my vacation....."  
     
     Her expression changed for the third time in five seconds when she
saw a passing box of donuts.  She followed the retreating sweets with
hungry eyes until they had disappeared behind the trenchcoat of a short
and overweight man with an air of slobby arrogance.  He was walking
alongside a tall, lanky Spanish woman in a police uniform, and turned to
her with a mouth full of donut.  "Hey Montoya, you hear the word 'bout
those girls last night?"

     "Yeah, before we picked up the Riddler again," she answered briskly.
"I dunno, I heard a bunch of stories, but the Commissioner can't seem to
get any confirmation from...you-know-who."

     "Probably parta the wrestlin' show.  Either that, or those jerks got
so drunk they couldn't see straight.  Yeesh, lady superheroes, Batgirl
was bad enough..."  His voice faded as the two turned the corner.

     The five girls looked at each other and giggled.  "Do you think we
made the news here?"  Lita said.  "Bet they've never seen anything like
the Sailor Scouts before.  Should be a hot story, don't ya think?"

     "Let's go see," answered Rei, approaching a nearby newsstand.  The
group crowded around a copy of the Gotham Gazette, reading the cover
story about the Riddler's capture.  Then they let out a collective
"Awwww," of dismay, for nowhere in the article did it mention Sailor
Scouts.  The man behind the counter looked up briefly from his tabloid,
squinted through his glasses, and munched on his cigarette confusedly.  

     Serena looked up, coughing.  "Ugg!  Smoke!  Hey Mister, if I get
lung cancer I'm gonna-- hey!" Before any of her friends knew what was
happening, Serena had made a flying leap, reached across the counter, and
snatched the magazine from the man's hands.  At first everyone was
bewildered as to what had just happened, but the girls finally snapped
out of it and began a barrage of screaming at Serena.


     Moments after, the fellow behind the stand kicked his chair out from
under him, reaching across the counter at the eager girl.  "Hey!  You
gotta pay for that, kid!"

     Serena looked at his furious face, then at the embarrassed glares of
her friends.  "Hee hee hee," she giggled, humiliated. "I'll give it right
back, I promise!"  She broke into another fit of nervous giggles, while
the rest of the group just groaned. 

     "So what's it say?"  Rei asked anxiously, craning her neck to see
above Lita's tall figure.  "...Hey, that's disgusting!"  

     Lita grabbed the paper and threw it across the counter.  It collided
with the angry man's face, sticking fast.  "Honestly.  Sexy wrestler
girls team up with Batman?"

     "Forget that," Rei growled.  "We're stuck in the corner of page one,
taking second place to a story about alien babies with human mothers?"

     "Oh well," lilted Mina, shrugging.  "What do you expect from a paper
called the Gotham Inquisitor?"

     "ForGET it," rang out a voice from behind them suddenly, and they
whirled.  Serena was perched atop a mailbox, looking as if she was about
to leap into battle.  "Fear not, my friends," she cried, as they looked
on in surprise.  "If this town doesn't know enough to acknowledge the
Sailor Scouts, that's their loss!  As for us, we have more important
things to do!"  She raised her arm high above her head, pointing to the
sky.   "When the going gets tough-"  Her pointing finger swerved towards
a huge building decked with "Sale" banners and display windows.  "-The
tough go SHOPPING!"

**

     Gotham Fifth Avenue suddenly burst with the sounds of girlish
laughter.  A perfume clerk dove underneath his counter as a blonde girl
in long pigtails made a mad grab for a bottle behind him.  "Oooh, yummy,"
she said, spraying herself generously and giggling.   Serena sat on the
glass counter, basking in her new elegance.

     Ami walked by and took a good whiff of that very elegance.  It sent
her into a coughing fit.  "Whaddaya think?"  Serena said luxuriously,
tossing her head and whipping the hapless clerk with the end of one
pigtail.  "Only fifty nine ninety nine!   Hmmm... how much is that in
yen?"

     After recovering her breath, Ami took out her tiny blue computer.
After some calculations, she said briefly, "Too much.  Considering it's
the same stuff they sell at the drugstore back home for cheap."

     Serena looked put out.  "Well... could we fight the Negaverse with
it? Stink bombs maybe?"

     "Well, *I* like it," said a cheerful voice from behind them, and
Serena hopped off the counter.  A blonde college girl stood there,
leaning idly on the glass, her purse swaying vaguely.  "My name's Cindy."

     Ami could see that two kindred spirits had met.  She slinked off as
the two other girls gabbed.  "Nice to meet ya, Serena.  You know, there's
this guy who I am kinda interested in.  He's really hot and he's around
here SOMEwhere..." 

     Shrugging, the short-haired girl put the small aqua machine back in
her pocket and strolled on.  Craning her neck to see above the rows and
rows of fancy clothing, she smiled at the sight of Lita's familiar
ponytail, a beacon in the midst of the men's section.  Ami wriggled her
way through, and found Lita and Mina comparing men's shirts.  Lita looked
around and waved hello to Ami.

     "These suits are way cool," the tall girl grinned enthusiastically.
"Just my size, too.  I wish I could wear one of these jackets to school
instead of those awful uniforms."

     Ami laughed.  "But if you came to school in one of those, people
would think you were a teacher!"

     "Wouldn't that be something?" Mina giggled.  "I bet you'd give the
whole school a day off..."

     Her daydreaming was interrupted by a trumpeting voice.  "Honestly!!!
Bruce WAYNE!"  The three girls poked their heads through a rack of
jackets to spy on the society folks.

     A red-haired lady, dressed elegantly in a smart suit and a huge hat,
was standing by a three-way mirror, looking critically at the man in
front of it.  He was tall, solidly built, with a handsome (but vapid)
face and a twinkle of clueless embarrassment in his eye.  "So that's the
guy who sponsored our trip here!" Lita whispered.  

     "I wonder if we should go thank him," Ami wondered.  

     "Naw.  It'll be much cooler to just spy on him and see what he's
like!"  answered Mina mischievously.

     Bruce put up his hand in a mild gesture of protest.  "Now,
Veronica," he said mildly, "there's no need to make a scene.  It's just a
suit."

     "In that thing, Brucie, you'd make a scene without me!" retorted
Veronica, going up to him.  "Tell me, when are you going to learn the way
a jacket is SUPPOSED to hang?  It's not as if you have anything better to
do with your time."  Annoyed, she fussed over his clothes like she was
swatting away a pesky fly.  "You seem to enjoy wining and dining, you
might as well learn how to impress the ladies with your looks as well as
your checkbook..."

     "Brucie" just stood there and blushed, taking Veronica's lecture as
if it were a dose of bitter medicine, and listening as if he were a
naughty six-year-old caught making mud pies by his mother.  Mina laughed
softly at the comical scene.  Then, she turned at the sound of a brisk
young voice behind her.  "Veronica Vreeland.  Something, isn't she? 
Looks to me like Mr. Wayne needs to be rescued."  

     Leaning against the coat rack was a red-haired girl with a sassy
smile and a green backpack.  Stray sheets of paper were popping out of
the overstuffed pack, surrounding a gray teddy bear with one eye.  The
girl straightened up, sending her hair flying behind her in one red
whoosh, and extended her hand with the grace of a ballerina.  "I'm
Barbara Gordon.  You must be new here.  Everyone who lives in Gotham is
used to Veronica and Bruce."

     "Yes, we're on exchange from Japan," said Ami, and the three girls
introduced themselves to the radiantly friendly young woman.  

     "Oh, really?"  Barbara's eyes widened at the mention of Japan. 
"Wow, I bet my friends would love to meet you."  She propped herself up
on a post, rising gracefully above the rows of racks.  "Hey, Cindy!"  she
called.  Ami giggled knowingly.

     As if on cue, two blonde girls emerged from the forest of fashion,
and uttered a synchronized "Hiiii!" that streaked up into the
stratosphere.  

     "You guys already know each other?"  Mina said incredulously.

     "Aw, c'mon," Lita grinned.  "Is it really a surprise?"

     "Barbara, this is Serena.   She's also part of our exchange," Ami
said pleasantly.  

     "Nice to meet you," Barbara said, extending her hand to Serena.
"But... if you don't mind me asking, what IS that thing on the back of
your head?"

      The other girls looked around and promptly burst into a fit of
giggles.  Serena pouted and said, "It's a hat.  C'mon.  I've seem them in
all the magazines, they're supposed to be totally cool!"

     "I dunno," shrugged Mina, "Why anyone would want to wear a
cauliflower on their head is beyond me."

     In reply, Serena's melodramatic mode kicked into full gear.   "It
represents the beauty of nature!"  she crooned, posing like an
avant-garde performance artist..  "Mother Nature provides us with beauty
and loove, so if you wear one of her creations, you will be beautiful
tooo!"  She finished in the coluratura of a diva, shrieking, "Ta-daaaa!" 
and flinging her arms up in triumph.  

     Diva Serena's final downbeat came too soon, though, when her hand
flew into a face behind her and provoked an annoyed "Oww!"  She hastily
drew back her hand and began to turn around, when the male whine of pain
turned into brash laughter.  "Wow!  Guess you got some salad to go with
the main course, Meatball Head!"

     Serena whirled.  It was Dick Grayson again, standing there with the
same arrogant grin and with the same irresistible twinkle in his eye. 
Her clumsy hands fumbled to lose the gaudy hairpiece, and at the same
time she caught a sideways glimpse of Cindy, who was staring at Dick,
enraptured.  So this was that guy she was talking about!  Great minds
think alike...

     Serena's face alternated between wrath and embarrassment, and
finally decided on the latter.  "I ... I was just trying it on 'cause it
was so silly!" she grinned hastily, clapping her hand to the back of her
head to mask the offending vegetable.  
     
     Dick shrugged, nonplussed, and began to walk away, but Serena wasn't
about to let him.  Snatching the creation from atop her head, she hurled
it with a powerful motion at the retreating figure.  He turned before it
hit, in time to see the discus wheeling towards him at lightspeed, and
the girl behind it following through with her toss, her arm and hand
outstretched. Instinctively, his hand whipped out and snatched the
makeshift weapon securely between two fingers.  Dick's eyes locked with
Serena's, and something flickered between them, something between
suspicion and recognition.  The hapless hat, meanwhile, slipped through
Dick's fingers and fell to the floor.

     Cindy didn't like this wordless connection that seemed to be
developing, so she was the first to break the silence.  "You two know
each other?" she asked in an incredulous tone.

     "We met at the airport," Dick explained.  "And I see you and your
friends have met up with Babs and Cindy..."  He looked around.  "Hey,
where's that friend of yours, the one you said I shouldn't trust?  Her
name was, uh... Rei?"

     "Over here, Dick," called a throaty female voice, and sequins
flashed as a figure moved into Dick's line of sight.  Rei sauntered out
of the dressing room and towards the flabbergasted bunch, decked out in a
form-fitting gown that seemed in danger of slipping off any minute.  Her
dazzling smile glittered above the red sequins, and she reached up to
toss her black-violet hair flirtatiously behind her shoulders.  "What do
you think?" she said, fixing her eyes on him.

     Dick hesitated and cleared his throat, while two blondes growled
like angry bulldogs.  "Uh, Rei, hi," he stammered uncomfortably.  "You
look... nice."  Rei threw a smug grin to Serena and Cindy, who stood
there turning red and green.

     Mina, the only one who wasn't flustered or doubling over laughing,
came to Rei's side and put her arm around her friend's bare shoulders. 
"Hon, it was a great idea," she counseled quietly, "but I'm not sure you
have the... er... willpower to hold that dress up."   Rei looked down at
herself, and adjusted the dress embarrassedly.  "And it's bunching a bit
down here..." Mina kneeled down to tend to the dress, and Dick took the
opportunity to squeeze his way out of the corner.  He turned and shrugged
to the others, who were having quite a laugh at Rei's expense.

     "Pretty direct, isn't she," grinned Dick.  "I don't think I'll ever
understand the fairer sex..."

     "Who are ya calling fairer?" Lita retorted jokingly.

     "Could have been worse," Barbara shrugged, smiling.  "He could have
called us the weaker sex, but I know you wouldn't do that Dick, RIGHT?" 
He shrugged innocently.  "Anyhow, what are you going to do, we'll never
understand each other... For the record, though, I think Rei wanted to
stand out, and not just be one of the girls from Japan."

     "Barb, you're the best," said Dick.  "What would I do without you
explaining these things to me?  You're a real Oracle, ya know that?"

     Barbara waved away the praise.  "No, it's just common sense.  You
know what they say, Men are from Mars and women are from Venus..."

     Mina looked up, startled, and Rei began to protest angrily, but
checked herself and just stood there with flaming red cheeks.   Lita
smiled knowingly and said, "I don't know about that..."

**

     The girls returned to their hotel later that afternoon for a
much-needed nap.  Serena was pooped from shopping, and the other four
knew they needed to build up their strength.  After all, tonight would be
a Sailor night, if anything Batman said was true...

     After dinner, the girls held a conference with Luna and Artemis in a
crowded arcade.  Ami briefed the others on each villain that Batman had
named: Harley Quinn, the bubbleheaded wacko who had a thing for the
Joker; Two-Face, the ex-D.A. with a fixation for twos, doubles, and
absolute randomness; Poison Ivy, a deadly temptress who loved plants more
than people; and the Penguin, a sneaky criminal underlord and the only
sane one among the group, but still a figure to be reckoned with.  

     "What about the Joker?" asked Rei.  "If Harley Quinn is on the
loose, could the Joker be too?"

     "Possibly," said Luna.  "And even I've heard stories about him, so
you girls had better be careful."

     "Right, Luna," continued Ami.   "The Joker is by far the most
dangerous criminal in Gotham.  While the other psychoses at least have
patterns, the Joker is completely erratic and unpredictable."

     "If anybody runs up against him tonight," Luna warned, "you are to
call the rest of us before getting involved.  Nobody is to handle the
Joker alone."

     "Speaking of getting involved," said Artemis, licking his paws
leisurely, "What is the plan for tonight?  I thought we should split the
girls up and have them each investigate different parts of town, and
notify each other if there's any trouble."

     "Right," the other cat nodded.  "Artemis and I will do our own
investigations, and report back to you tomorrow morning."  She glanced at
Artemis, who had now begun rubbing his own back, ruffling the white fur. 
"Do you HAVE to take baths in public?" she blurted out.

     "Well, I'm ready to go," said Rei impatiently, standing up and
nearly knocking over a nearby pinball machine.  "How bout the rest of
you?"

     "Right!" called four voices in unison, and the girls dispersed into
the crowd.  Luna made a scoffing noise and leaped up onto the windowsill,
with Artemis grumbling behind.

**

     Ami made her way uptown, towards the Gotham Museum of Fine Arts.
After all, thieves were more likely to go after expensive targets in the
upscale portions of town, right?  Oh well, it was a good enough answer
for the rest of the group.  As for Ami, she just knew she had endured
Serena's shopping sprees all day, without ever getting time to visit what
SHE wanted to see.  Finally, she was alone and free to soak up some
American culture.

     If only Serena wasn't such an airhead!  Ami thought angrily,
stamping her foot.  She had just reached the museum, and it looked very
closed.  The building, designed like a Greek temple gone bad, had
shrouded itself in shadows as black as the windows.  Now she would never
get to go inside! Frustrated, she jogged at full speed up the steps, and
sat on the cold stone patio outside the entrance.  Her blue skirt folded
around her knees with a rustle, and the windy night got chillier.  Ami
looked around.  Sparkling stars lit up her eyes from the glitter-lined
trees across the way.  "It must be the plaza in front of the opera
house," Ami said to herself.  "And down the street there, that park with
the dim lights... must be the zoological gardens." Ami smiled... perhaps
the promise of adorable bunnies would entice Serena to let them visit the
zoo tomorrow.  Then Ami might have a chance to see their collection of
rare and exotic birds.

     A low and guttural sound rolled weakly from behind a pillar.  Ami
turned in surprise toward the black shadow.  The sound repeated, and this
time it was clearly a groan.  Worried, Ami got up cautiously and
approached the column.  "Who's there?" she asked timidly.

     Slowly and painfully, a seated figure moved itself into the light. 
It was a security guard, probably a night watchman for the museum.  A
dart jutted out from his coat, undoubtedly piercing his skin.  Ami bent
down and held the man's shoulder still while she removed the dart.  He
grabbed her shoulder in a feeble motion.  "Drug on the tip... knocked me
out," he groaned.  "Just woke up... so weak."  Ami began to promise she'd
call the police, when the poor guard uttered one final phrase before
leaning back against the stone column, exhausted.  "It was... the
Penguin."  

     The guard was still watching this petite nymphlike thing, who seemed
to be tinted in shades of blue.  (No police.  This is Sailor business.)
Surprised, he saw her expression change abruptly and her eyes make a
determined dart towards the front doors.  Wasn't she going to call the
cops? (I better transform.  This guy is too out of it to remember what I
looked like, and who knows what new power the Negaverse has given to the
Penguin.) The girl looked straight at him and said in a strangely firm
voice, "Don't worry.  I'll take care of it."  Then, as if by magic there
was a blue rod in her hand, and the guard's eyes widened as she thrust it
into the air and yelled, "MERCURY POWER!"

     Waves of blue color enveloped the girl, melting her clothes and
obscuring her form into blue sashes and stars.  The guard was dazzled. 
The air seemed to turn to water, and ripples distorted the morphing
figure.  With an explosion of tiny bubbles, the girl's shape came back
into focus.  Only now it was not that timid little thing, but a young
woman in a sailor suit, skirt and boots, the jewel in the center of her
gold tiara just as blue and flashing as her eyes.  She drew her arms to
her sides in a sharp pose.

     As the poor befuddled guard looked on, not sure if he was underwater
still, the sailor-suited warrior touched the side of her tiara.  A blue
visor materialized over her eyes, and she scanned the building with
piercing eyes. "I thought so," she said in a satisfied tone.  "The alarms
have been turned off.  Don't worry, sir.  Sailor Mercury is here!" 
Bursting the doors open with a powerful kick, she rushed into the museum. 
The guard gave up trying to understand, and fell unconscious again.

     Sailor Mercury heard her footsteps echo in the huge marble lobby.
There were no lights, but her visor bathed everything in a dim blue glow.
"Scan for life," she said softly, and a white blip flashed against the
right corner of her visor, pointing to a nearby hallway.  Mercury hurried
into the corridor.

     Once there, she traded the loud clip clops of her boots for stealthy
tiptoes.  The Penguin could be anywhere, and she'd rather see what he was
up to, then take him by surprise.  She followed the muted blinkings of
her computer, and stopped short outside a huge, airy gallery.  Inside, a
dril whizzed and an intellectual voice barked orders.  Sailor Mercury
touched her tiara again, and her visor retracted itself into nothing. 
She slipped into the room, staying to the shadows, and discovered happily
that there was a balcony a floor above, lining the four walls and looking
down on the gallery. With a single fluid motion, she leapt up.

     The second floor foyer, in daylight, provided a sensational view of
the gallery's main attraction: the prow of the Viking Eagle.  Viking
ships were not known for their adornments-in fact most were bare masses
of dark wood-but this craft had become legendary for its jeweled prow and
intricate etchings of birds in flight.  In fact, most historians weren't
sure if the so-called Viking Eagle was real or mythical.  So its recent
discovery sparked interest everywhere and led to a whirlwind world tour,
sponsored by the Wayne Foundation.

     "Ah, my magnificent seabird," mused a voice with a quirky mechanical
ring.  The sparks from his drill lit up the Penguin's face, the light
reflecting viciously off of his monocle.  "With you in my talons, I will
have conquered the elements.  As a bird I am master of the air; as a
thief I own the earth.  As for fire..."  He gave a low chuckle.  "Well,
let's just say this bird has never been hotter.  And now, my lovely
eagle, we'll have triumphed over the aquatic realms as well."

     One of the heavyset buffoons on the job, after waiting to make sure
the Penguin had finished his soliloquy, asked hesitantly, "Uh-boss, what
are ya gonna do with it?  I mean... yer gonna sell it, right?"

     "Fool!"  One rap of the Penguin's umbrella on the marble floor
silenced the clueless stooge.  "You may be interested in mere monetary
gains, but not I.  My ambitions fly much higher than your feeble brain
may comprehend.  Indeed it is not the promise of mere wealth and luxury. 
As Hamlet once said, 'I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself
a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.'  And so
would I, for if I live in a penthouse or in a penitentiary I shall still
be the criminal emperor of Gotham City!"

     "It will never happen, Penguin!"  a valiant young voice declared in
the darkness.

     Cut short in mid-rant, the melodramatic miscreant looked up in
alarm. "...Batman?" he said, peeved.  "Who taught you to sing soprano?"

     His gang laughed raucously-it had been a girl's voice!-- but they
were blinded into silence when all the gallery's lights lit up, filling
the place with a dramatic glow.  All eyes turned toward the second floor
balcony, where a small figure stood poised on the railing.

     "You have abused the great works of Shakespeare by quoting them with
evil intent!"  cried Sailor Mercury forcefully.  "I will not stand for
this! I am Sailor Mercury, protector of all great works of art.  In the
name of the planet Mercury, I will not allow you to get away with this!"

     "Won't you?" said the Penguin patronizingly.  "You love pretty words
as much as I do, my dear, but I doubt you're even out of kindergarten. 
In fact, I don't think you even know what it is you're trying to
protect."

     "It's the Viking Eagle," answered Mercury calmly as she made a giant
leap down to the main floor.  "And you'd be surprised how much I know." 
She assumed an angry battle stance.

     "Really?"  The Penguin was mildly surprised, but nonplussed.  "Do
you know..." His pointed beak nodded at the waiting heavies.  "...how to
break out of a headlock!?"

     They rushed at her, three lumbering hulks intent on grabbing the
small girl.  But Sailor Mercury moved as fast as her planet's namesake. 
Between dodging punches and slipping out of awkward grabs, she called out
to the Penguin, "I know who broke you out of prison.  And I also know
that they gave you new powers."  With a series of swift kicks, she
knocked her assailants to the floor.  "And here's something you don't
know," she went on as the mooks lay stunned on the floor and the Penguin
chomped on his slender pipe in frustration.  "As a Sailor Scout it is my
destiny to fight the Negaverse. Which means you're going down."  She
scowled determinedly.  

     The Penguin had begun to realize he'd underestimated the girl, and
he took a nervous step back.  Sailor Mercury advanced towards him, but
suddenly the crook brandished his umbrella and opened it wide.  Behind
his shield of canvas, the Penguin snickered.  "Perhaps, my dear... Sailor
Mercury, or whoever you are... you are smarter than you appear.  But I
still know one thing that you don't."  He walked a tight circle around
her, and she pivoted slowly to face him at every moment.  "You know I
have a new power, but you don't know what it is.  Maybe I can fly or turn
invisible or bend steel bars with my bare hands. Or maybe I can just
catch a mean fish."  He wrinkled his nose and the monocle glinted
dangerously behind the open umbrella.  "But just to be fair, I'll give
you till the count of three.  If you can stop me in time, Miss Mercury,
then good for you.  But you won't." 

     "Ready?"  She nodded.  "One..."

     Without a moment's hesitation, Sailor Mercury leapt into the air,
folding her arms over her chest.  Buoyant on a sudden stream of rushing
air, she spun round as if she were underwater.  And just like in water,
bubbles foamed in her wake and hovered around her in thick clusters.  She
flung her arms outward.  "Mercury Bubbles.... Blast!"

     The cascade of bubbles streamed forth just as the Penguin had cried
"Three!"  In an instant, he gripped his umbrella tighter as its tip let
out a gigantic ball of fire!  He cackled in triumph, but it was
short-lived, as Mercury's bubbles enveloped the fireball and quenched its
flame with a loud hissing sound.  The bright light burned out and
disappeared, and suddenly it became very quiet.   A heavy fog settled
over the room.  

     The Penguin gave an incredulous cry of outrage.  "What! !  How did
you know to do that?"  With another grumble, he attempted to look around
the room. "Where did you go?  What's going on here?"  His eloquent
speeches had been reduced to awkward stammers of disbelief.  Groping
around the gallery and trying vainly to clear away the thick mist, he
coughed and called out angrily. The only response came from his henchmen,
who were complaining of the intense cold.  "Shut up you buffoons,"
growled the Penguin.  Then, abruptly, he felt a rope tighten around him.

     Holding her lasso of energy tight around the felon,  Sailor Mercury
approached from behind the Penguin.  "You claimed to have conquer the
elements.  The only one you hadn't explained in your speech was the power
of fire.  Too bad Mercury controls the power of water, and I was able to
short you out.  Now come on, you have an appointment with the Gotham City
Police until my friend Sailor Moon can cleanse the Nega-energy right out
of you."

*********


SAILOR SCOUTS IN GOTHAM (part III)

**

     "It wash nine p.m. and I wash walkin my beat in the Gotham Schity
park," narrated Marvin to himself as he sauntered down the path. 
"Everything wash quiet.  A little toooo quiet..."  He broke out of his
Sam Spade dialogue to realize that it WAS too quiet... but not in the way
he'd like it to be. Every other cop in Gotham saw action with costumed
freaks and car chases.  As for Marvin, who had graduated the Police
Academy but still had the heart of an eight-year-old boy, the action he
got to nose in on mostly came from oversexed teenagers out too late in
the park.  "Not excshactly my cup a tea," he muttered. 

     As he walked through the dim greenness, coughing to himself about
"what they shoulda told me when I shigned up for the Forcshe," a cold
breeze came rushing at him with sudden intensity.  Marvin turned around,
his knees knocking for some strange reason, although cold nights in
Gotham were the norm.  He laid a protective hand on his flashlight and,
swallowing his unease, ventured off the path into a dark  tree-lined
grove.  The chilly air thickened, as if clouded by some foggy
manifestation of evil.  Shuddering, the policeman reached for the switch
on his flashlight.  But just as he was about to flick it on, cold fingers
slapped his hand and whisked it away. Marvin jumped.  After a frozen
moment, he turned around very slowly, with every inch expecting a
musclebound mugger or some other maniac. Opening his tightly squinted
eyes wider, he faced his assailant. "Okay, you..." he began, and then
stopped in utter shock.

     A snaky green vine waved hello with the leaf on its tip and promptly
gagged the policeman before he could shout or move.  Tendrils creeped up
from all around and bound him tightly, then jerked him inwards toward the
grove. Marvin lost conciousness.  Meanwhile, a young girl with thick dark
hair noticed a funny movement in the shadows as she walked along the
path...

     "Well, well, well," Poison Ivy mused, looking at her new prize
through sleepy, sultry eyes.  Marvin jerked and squirmed, but the plants
held him fast.  "Aren't you the nosy one."  She flicked a finger across
his sweaty face, moving a loose strand of hair.  Even in his captive
terror, Marvin gulped at her touch.  He watched the sexy redhead through
a cloud of pheromones.

     A strand of vine slithered up Ivy's leg, and she patted it
affectionately.  "Well trained, aren't they?" she said to the hapless
cop, as the green snake crept around her waist.  "You know, for the
longest time, my connection to plants was strictly emotional.  I
understood them, and they understood me, but we still didn't speak each
other's language."  As if cued by her annoyed expression, a thick
latticework of stems reached out from the nearby trees, folding
themselves under Ivy to create a natural hammock.  She reclined several
feet above the ground, yawning.  "Yes, I had to do all kinds of
experiments and hormone treatments with my darling babies before I could
get them to do what I intended.  Ahh... but all that's changed now," she
continued with a smug smile.  "You see, I met the nicest man the other
day...and you know I don't take too kindly to men."  A scowl flashed
across her face, and the vines holding Marvin squeezed him harder.  "But
this Zoycite, well, he helped me out."  She leaned forward toward the
guard, flashing him the most seductive and deadly of smirks.  "Now I
really can tell my babies what to do.  I just have to order them in my
head, and they do my bidding." Ivy tossed her red hair triumphantly. 
"And we're going to war!"

     "I don't think so!"  rang out a strong female voice from behind
them.

     Ivy wheeled around in sharp annoyance and surprise.  "Wha--?"

     Poised in the clearing stood Sailor Mars, with her dark hair
rippling in the chilly breeze.  She pointed a white-gloved finger at the
villainess. "Your army of weeds will never take over this city, because I
am Sailor Mars, and on behalf of the planet Mars, I will protect helpless
men from your feminine wiles!"  She extended her arms in an angry motion.

     Poison Ivy laughed out loud and walked slowly toward the warrior.
"Wait a minute," she said nonchalantly. "MY feminine wiles?  You're the
one in the half-inch long skirt.  Don't your legs get cold?"

     "Who are you to talk, Miss Spandex?"  Mars retorted, her temper
flaring.  

     "At least I wear tights," Ivy replied with a sassy grin.  "And as
for men, at least I've figured out they're not worth the trouble.  How
many have YOU tried to snag lately, Sailor... Mars, is it?"

     The color in Sailor Mars's cheeks changed from angry red to
embarrassed crimson.  Her eyes flickered to the floor as she thought
about Dick and Darien.  But a triumphant chuckle from Ivy roused the
girl.  "Hey!  I don't have to take this from you!  Hahh!"  And in an
instant she was flying towards Ivy with a fist full of rage. 

     The punch sunk into Ivy's gut and she cried out angrily.  "That was
a bad move," she said through gritted teeth.  After wiping her frowning
mouth with one delicate wrist, Ivy straightened up.  With an aggressive
motion, she cried out in a voice that rung throughout the clearing. 
"Attack!"

     Silent huddled masses of branches and limbs began to slither out
from their shadowy hiding places.  Gaining momentum, they launched
themselves into the air and flew straight at Sailor Mars, who turned and
ran to the far edge of the clearing.  Yet her escape was short-lived, for
as fast as she ran, they kept after her, like living javelins headed for
their target.  But by the time they reached her, Mars was ready.

     Clasping her hands together, Mars extended her second fingers and
pointed them at the advancing plants. An orange nucleus of heat formed at
the ends of her fingers, which grew into a huge ball of energy.  Closing
her eyes and focusing her energy, Mars uttered in a low voice, "Mars
Fire... Ignite!" And the ball burst into brilliant flame, spiraling its
way towards the plants. The smell of burning leaves filled the area as
the fire spread from one branch to the next, until they had all fallen,
charred and withered, to the ground. Firelight danced on the grass.

     Ivy looked as if she was about to cry.  "You -- MURDERER!"  she
screamed in hysterical rage.  "My beautiful branches... but never mind
that." With these last words, the villainess swallowed her fit and cocked
her hip, becoming the cold-hearted mistress of men and maples once more. 
"Nice move, but you guessed wrong.  Because I can control ALL the plants
here.  So there's no way for you to escape."

     Mars gulped in terror.  A long, slow chuckle came from Ivy, who was
standing triumphant atop her hammock of vines.  "Looks like I'm in
control now, Sailor Mars."  She punctuated the Scout's name with disdain. 
"Trees, let's put a little scare into her."  With a tiny wave of her
hand, Poison Ivy brought the circle of trees to life.  

     Groaning viciously, the hypnotized masses bent inward, branches
darting past the raven-haired girl dangerously.  She gulped and dodged as
the giant oaks taunted her, slapping her back and forth like a tennis
ball. Behind her cries and ouches, the evilly low voice of Poison Ivy
chuckled in slow motion.  "Scared yet?" she whispered through pursed
lips.

     This goad was more than Sailor Mars could take, and between
breathless narrow escapes she cried out, "Not even close!  If you think a
bunch of vines scare me, when the Sailor Scouts have fought off three
airplanes at once..."

     Her eyes locked with Ivy's.  Of course!  Jadeite had also had
control over those planes, and Luna had warned the threesome to remember
that he, not any of his puppets, was their enemy.  With a stunning jump,
Mars catapulted herself over the approaching tendrils and somersaulted
through the air, landing a few feet from Ivy.  Heedless of the attacking
trees, she closed her eyes and held one hand in front of her face. 
Between that hand's pinched fingers appeared a small white slip of paper,
inscribed with strange Japanese characters.  It wavered as a slight hot
wind rippled over the area.

     As Sailor Mars chanted, energy built up around the tiny parchment. 
"I call upon the power of Mars... Evil Spirit, Begone!"  And with a
lightning-fast motion, she pressed the paper fast to Ivy's forehead!  

     Ivy cried out.  "What did you do to me?  I can't.. move..."  As she
stood there, paralyzed by the force of the spell, the possessed branches
and trees drooped to the ground, motionless plants once more. 

     Mars grabbed a thick vine from its grassy resting place and bound
the stunned Ivy tight.  "I sucked the Negapower right out of you and your
helpless slaves," she said triumphantly.  "I'd have thought a smart lady
like you would know better than to play with fire.  Especially the fire
of Mars."

     Marvin, who had wriggled free of his now-limp bonds, stumbled to his
feet.  A long sigh of befuddled relief escaped him, but turned into a cry
of surprise as Ivy stretched out one long leg and hooked it around his
ankle. She turned her green eyes on him and gave an adorable pout.  "Hey,
you know if you let me go, I'll make it very, very worth the trouble." 
Her extended leg rubbed up against his, and for an instant the cop looked
like he was about to give in.  He gulped and looked down at her, then
back at Sailor Mars, who gave him an exasperated glare.  Marvin reached
for the radio at his belt.  "Call for backup..." 

     Finishing his call, he took another glance toward Sailor Mars.  But
the raven-haired heroine had disappeared.  A small circle of flame died
on the grass.

**

     Alfred Pennyworth was on his way home with the groceries, muttering
to himself that Master Bruce had better eat this time before he went
"out."  He peeked over his bundles at the sidewalk, and barely managed to
shout "My goodness gracious!" before he was knocked off balance by what
looked like a giant blonde squid.  The butler stepped backwards into a
sidewalk crack, and wavered dangerously for fear that his eggs (or his
skull) might end up cracked on the pavement.  A few awkward moments and
panicked "Oh"s later, the British butler regained his balance and
breathed a sigh of relief.  "Lucky for me I already know how to handle
large, unpredictable animals," he chuckled, and headed homewards to fix
dinner for a Bat and a bird.

     The squid was actually a pair of pigtails bouncing furiously down
Adams St.  They had a girl attached to them, but she had been too
engrossed in store windows to notice her collision course with a lanky
British man.  She skipped lightly down the street, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at
every skirt and necklace.  "Ooh, that reminds me of something I saw at
Molly's mom's store. Molly would love that!"  

     Serena smiled as she thought of her friend, the adorable stubborn
redhead.  She could just hear her voice now, in that funny accent she had
picked up from her dad, who was born in Brooklyn.  "Oooh, Seree--na,
that's just goawww-jus!"  Serena echoed the strange tones of the last
word to herself and skipped on down the street.

     Reaching the corner of O'Neil, she ducked round the corner to look
at the other half of the Kinsolving Fashions window display.  "For the
grownup who wants to be a kid again." Serena spoke the company's slogan
to herself. "That would be me.  Except Rei would say I never grew up in
the first place..."  Her rambling mouth and roving eyes both stopped
their wandering, and she gave a small squeal of infatuation.  

     The centerpiece of the Kinsolving Fashions display was a formal
ballgown, glittering red and black in the window's dim lights.  Laced
with sequins and material so sparkling that it seemed to be alive, the
elegant dress swooped from a chiseled neckline to a floor-length
Cinderella skirt, all alternating reds and blacks into a dark and
sparkling mesh.  And best of all, this creation was not just made of long
sheets of cloth.  The dress was composed entirely of red and black
*smiley faces*... overlapped and fastened together in long chains and
sheets of grins that formed a dress that was certainly suited for a happy
occasion!

     Serena squealed again, and closed her eyes tight. "I want it!" she
giggled, and pictured herself parading down the stairs in the joyful
gown, towards a bevy of admirers, each one grinning at the dress's
radiance and it's wearer's beauty.  Dick and Andrew both swooned after
her, while Batman and Robin on the other side gazed in silent adoration. 
Finally, the princess in her smiling gown reached the end of the hallway,
where her Tuxedo Mask was standing.  "My darling, your dress, like you,
brings smiles and sunshine to the faces of everyone around you.  Dance,
my love?"  As her dream escort removed his mask, Serena realized with a
sinking heart that Darien was still lost in the Negaverse.  She sighed
sadly and asked a silent question of any stars that might be granting
wishes beyond the Gotham fog.

     Her thoughts scattered at a small but distinct noise that could only
be labeled as a "Sproing!"  Surprised and amused, Serena looked around
for the source of the sound.  Her eyes scanned the window display, and
locked in wild shock at the mannequin in the center.  The beautiful
ballgown was gone!

     The girl shivered.  "It was just here a minute ago... oh, I've got a
BAD feeling about this...!"  She felt a wave of sobs coming on, but
suppressed them.  "No.  If this is the Negaverse I have to face them. 
Too bad Rei isn't here to see how brave I'm going to be."  After a moment
of peeved and frightened grimacing, she raised her hand to the sky. 
"Moon Prism... POWER!"

     The girl's eyes sparkled with the sudden glow of a thousand tiny
stars that careened around her, transforming her body into a silhouette
of pure energy.  Her gold locket, the only thing still unchanged, seemed
to sprout as a seed into vines of ethereal ribbons.  They wrapped around
Serena's luminous form.  Her costume appeared where the ribbons had
landed: suit, gloves, boots, skirt, rippling blue collar.  As the figure
morphed back into human form, a bright crescent moon glimmered briefly on
its forehead.  Then the moon spread into a golden tiara and two red
hairpieces that gleamed sharply.  Serena raised her hand to the sky in a
salute, and smiled.  She was Sailor Moon.

     With a giant leap she was on the store's roof.  A skylight sat
shattered, and Sailor Moon dodged the shards of broken glass to jump
through the thief's entryway.  A few seconds of dark falling, and she
landed with a small "Oof" on the carpeted top floor.  Sensing the dark
energy of the Negaverse, she careened down unmoving escalators to the
first floor and headed straight for the dressing room.

     There *was* someone there, Sailor Moon noted happily, proud of
herself for being this gutsy.  A nasal humming noise emanated from the
dressing room, whose lights were all on.  She burst into the hallway and
cried to the rows of stalls, "Stop right there!"

     The humming made a question-like dip and stopped abruptly.

     "Some teenage girl is saving her money to buy that dress in time for
her senior prom, and you're not going to shatter her dream!  I am Sailor
Moon, the champion of justice, and on behalf of the moon, I won't allow
you to steal dresses from store windows!  So come out and face me!"

     There was a blank moment.  Then a familiarly nasal voice whined,
"Aw, c'mon!!  Let me just try it on first!"

     Sailor Moon blinked.  "Uh, okay, sure, but after that, I will punish
you!"

     "Whatever, whatever," answered the voice from behind one of the
doors, where the rustling of material whispered behind the conversation.  

     She yawned and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes sleepily.
"I'll just be a minute!" called the voice again, and the heroine's eyes
blinked open in sudden surprise.  She knew the voice sounded familiar...
"Molly?"

     A stall door opened, and out peeked a round face with blonde hair in
two short pigtails.  Blue eyes sparkled cluelessly at Sailor Moon, who
for a moment thought she was looking in a mirror.  "Who's Molly?" she
wondered with a disarming smile.  "Never mind.  I'm not her.  Ya ready?"

     Sailor Moon nodded, breaking into a wide grin.

     "Here I... COME!"  And the blonde sauntered out, raising her arms
above her head to toss her hair.  Sailor Moon was stunned.  The woman
looked nothing short of magnificent in the spangles of red and black, and
her gleeful grin outshone all of the thousand smiles.  She played model
against the three-way mirror in the hall, turning and flashing grins at
invisible photographers. "Whaddaya think?"

     "It's totally GORGEOUS!" Sailor Moon cooed.  "Oh, it's totally
perfect for you!"

     "I saw it in the window the other day and I just HAD to try it on,"
the woman said leaning toward Sailor Moon as if they were the closest of
girl pals.  "Ya know, black and red are my colors ANYhow..."

     "Oh, they totally ARE!" Sailor Moon echoed.  "You look sooo great!"

     "And..." The woman lowered her voice a little, and her grin widened.
"Well, there's this guy I'm with.. and he's one of those guys who's got
STYLE, ya know?"

     "Yeah, I know," Sailor Moon answered with a bit of regret.  "My guy
has style alright... but he's bad."

     "So's my puddin'!" the woman shrieked happily, smiling infectiously
at the younger pigtailed blonde, who couldn't help but smile back.  "He's
the worst!  Nobody knows how to have a good time like my Mistah J.," she
boasted proudly.

     "Jay? Great name! So tell me, what's he like?" 

     "Oh, he's a party guy.  An entertAIIner!"  The blue eyes gleamed.
"The minute he walks in the room, he can bring a smile to everyone's
face.  My puddin' just loooooves smiles!"

     "Oooh!" squealed Sailor Moon.  "Lucky you! He's gonna love that
dress then, ...er..." she floundered cluelessly on the edge of her
sentence.

     The woman realized she hadn't introduced herself.  "Whoooooooops.
Sorry."  She extended a hand.  "Harley Quinn," she said with a flourish.
"Pleeased ta meet ya."

     "I'm Sail..." She stopped short.  "Harley... QUINN?"  The other
nodded.  "So your puddin'... is the Joker?"

     "Yup!" swooned Harley, oblivious to her galpal's shocked expression.
"Gotta love him... it's great having a famous boyfriend, we get to go to
all the fancy parties..."

     "Yeah, and crash them,"  Sailor Moon finished flatly.  Harley began
an enthusiastic nod, but then opened her eyes warily and saw that Sailor
Moon was frowning seriously.  The girl warrior continued. "Sorry,
Harley... as much fun as this was, you're still Harley Quinn, and I'm
still Sailor Moon!" Gloved fingertips stretched to the sky.  "I right
wrongs and triumph over evil, and even if you're lots of fun, that means
you!"

     Harley pouted.  "Oh yeah.  Right.  We gotta fight now?"

     Sailor Moon nodded. "'Fraid so."

     "All right, then just let me change.  I don't wanna fight in this
dress, might tear it up ya know."  Harley ducked into the dressing room,
and the next thing Sailor Moon knew, she was facing a thief clad in red
and black spandex, patterned kind of like a clown suit.  Two ridiculous
pom poms covered the pigtails.  Harley grinned from behind her mask. 
"All right... let's get to it!!!!"

     "Right! Yahh!"  Sailor Moon charged at her adversary with a face
full of determination.  But Harley's quirky smirk remained plastered on
until the very last moment, where she drew a plastic flower from within
her glove. Sailor Moon only had time to open her eyes in surprise, when
the flower leaped up out of Harley's hand and bit the vaulting Sailor on
the nose!

     "OWWWW!" wailed Sailor Moon as she crumpled to the floor, her hands
over her swollen nose.  The plastic flower leapt back into Harley's
outstretched hand.  

     "Wanna play a game?" Harley snickered, and she closed her hand
briefly and reopened it.  The flower had disappeared, and in its place
was a small yo-yo on which was painted a wicked smile.  Sailor Moon gaped
and shrieked as Harley sent the thing spinning toward her in a vicious
game of Walk the Dog. The smile gnashed its teeth hungrily, and Harley
yawned.  "Ya know," she remarked to no one in particular, with her wrist
still idly spinning the carnivorous toy toward Sailor Moon, "this
superpower stuff is fun, but it takes all the challenge outta life. 
Still, it is kinda funny to see you running from a yo-yo," she finished,
turning to Sailor Moon, who was retreating towards the three-way mirror.

     The yo-yo struck like a cobra, and Sailor Moon dodged it by a hair.
For a split second its expression changed to one of horror as it saw its
approaching reflection in the mirror.  Then, with a loud *K-RACK*, it hit
the mirror and fell broken to the ground.

     "Heyyy!"  Harley looked close to tears.  "He was one of my favorite
new tricks, and you broke 'im!"  She scowled and looked hard at the
cowering Sailor Moon.  "That's it.  You're a cool babe and I don't want
to hurt ya. But when you break my toys, you've gotta answer to my
BABIES!"

     Her shriek echoed off the glaring mirrors and faded into deep
rumbling... no, Sailor Moon realized as she slid down to a crouch against
the mirror.  It's *growling.*  Eep.  

     She turned her head one way-- growling from that side-- and then
another.  More growling.  No way to get outta there.  Sailor Moon
swallowed hard.

     Two shadows crept out from behind a rack of clothes.  Sailor Moon
cringed in her corner, watching warily in the mirror.  Her eyes widened
as the figures moved into the light, their hairy snouts plastered with
almost human grins.  Grins baring what seemed to be a million bladelike
teeth!

     They continued to approach slowly, licking their lips.  Above the
approaching hyenas, Harley stood with a satisfied, interested smile.  Her
arms were crossed.  All at once Sailor Moon snapped.  "Nooo
puh-LEEEEEEEZE don't let 'em eat me!" she babbled, her silent terror
having been stretched like a rubber band, then released.  "Lissen.  I'll
let you get away with the dress. Heck, I won't even tell anyone. 
Reeealy.  Did I mention I really don't like slobbering animals?  Well I
don't.  I really-really-really don't.  I'm more of a cat person myself,
ya know."

     "CAT person?!" echoed Harley shortly, as if stung.  The animals
snarled.

     Sailor Moon tried to wave away the comment.  "Whoa. Sorry.  Didn't
realize I hit a nerve, really!  Forget it."  Harley's "babies" drew
closer. Sailor Moon started to hyperventilate.  "Hey... you don't
REAAALLY want to do this to me, do ya?"  she wheezed, forcing a smile. 
"'Course not.  Remember when we were having FUN together 'n' stuff? 
Talking 'bout our clothes-- our guys-- and all that."  The animals were
nose to nose with her now.  "We could do that again, no problem, it's not
your fault the Negaverse is... ... ... ... hey, waitaminit..."

     In a spurt of inspiration she forgot all her fear and panic, and
WHAM, out kicked two red boots into the hyenas' faces.  They reeled
backwards and stumbled straight into Harley.  She fell against a stall's
doorframe with an "Oof," and the animals collapsed, whimpering, at their
mistress's feet.
     
     Sailor Moon leaped to a standing position.  "Ha!  Now let's bring
back the babe withOUT the bad vibes!"  She raised an empty hand high in
the air, but her fingers closed around a pink rod, topped with a silver
crescent moon. In the centre of the semicircle rested a huge gemstone
that sparkled with an energy all its own:  the Empyrean Silver Crystal. 
Sailor Moon lowered it to her eye level, and sparks of energy and light
in the air began to plummet in a whirlpool towards the crystal's centre. 
It gleamed its readiness.  

     The young warrior seemed to be suspended a half inch above ground.
She slowly drew the wand away from her face and pulled it in a large
circle around her body, sparks of moondust falling away from the wand's
tip in a glittering trail.  Her voice rose and fell with the movement of
her arm. "Moon....  Healing.... Activation!"

     The circle of dust shot out from around Sailor Moon's body, and each
speck flashed with light as it invaded Harley's weak figure.  She gave a
long shout of pain as the healing energy suspended her in midair for a
minute, her arms stretched up to the sky.  Then she collapsed on the
floor.  The dark energy escaped her body and dissolved into the night
air.  

     Sailor Moon, still gripping her Crescent Moon Wand, went over to the
still figure.  "Harley?  Harley, hon, feeling better?"  No response from
the drained villainess.   Sailor Moon bent down and laid a gentle hand on
her shoulder, bringing her face close to the other girl's.  The hyenas
loped about meekly.  "Harley?"

     Then there was a sudden gust of motion and a shock of pain, and the
next thing she new, Sailor Moon was sitting helplessly on her very
bruised tailbone.  Harley was standing on the sill of an open window,
holding her dress triumphantly in one hand.  The hyenas leapt up and out
the window as Harley called out, "Thanks for the fashion tips, Sailor
babe.  Seeeeeeeee ya!"

     The clueless girl blinked and stammered, "w...w...wait a minute!  I
healed you.  You're supposed to be good now, I took the dark energy out
of you.  You're suppOSED to be back to NORmal!"  She wavered dangerously
on the verge of tears.

     Harley laughed loudly.  "I am!  Don't have any funky li'l gadgets
anymore, maybe, but I'm still the one and only Harley Quinn, the
Priestess of Pranks, the queen of hearts with an ace up my sleeve!"  She
gave a flourish as if there was a trumpet salute ending her words.  "And
this time Sailor Babe, the laugh's on you!"

     A jump into darkness, and Sailor Moon was alone in the dressing room
again.  She sniffed.  "Aw, I try and be brave... I do all this great
stuff all by myself... and then the bad guy gets aWAY!!!! Rei's gonna be
on my back for WEEEKS!  Why can't I do ANNNNything right?"  And she was
lucky that Harley had already disabled the alarms, because otherwise the
motion sensors would have gone crazy with the building-shaking force of
her "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"


SAILOR SCOUTS IN GOTHAM: Part 4

**

     Harley leaped from the fire escape.  "Another score for the one and
only Harley Quinn!!" she cried triumphantly, bounding onto a windowsill,
then a gargoyle, then a series of rooftops leading into the heart of the
Gotham night.  The dress glittered smartly for a few instants after his
figure had darkened into the blue smog, then its light too winked out of
view.

     The air hung still and heavy for several moments.

     Then, a limber silhouette emerged from the shadows, so grey and
weightless that is seemed to be their child.  The figure, poised for the
edge of a second, fixed its sights on the just-departed flash of red,
leaning further and further forward as if it had no fear of toppling over
onto cement rooftop or fifty feet of nothing.

     The shadowy form reached the breaking point, but instead of falling,
it tripped itself into the air and across the gap between buildings. 
Moving like quicksilver, it leapt roof-to-roof in the wake of Harley's
path.  It tripped and glided in an effortless contrast to Harley's
enthusiastic skips and bounds, melting several times into the shadows. 
The figure finally came to a stop across the street from a dimly lit
warehouse.  It perched in a crouch on the roof's corner, and listened.

     To anyone else there would be nothing there to listen to.  But this
apparition could hear very clearly the subdued snarls of wild animals,
some lumbering dumb conversation over an arm-wrestling match, and a nasal
woman's voice crying "Hey, puddin'!  Look what I got!" At this, the
figure's face was caught in a moment of shifting light.  It bore the
beginnings of a female smile.  The woman adjusted her earpiece and
listened on.

     Several moments passed.  The spy crouched perfectly still on the
gargoyle's nose.  Then, with a sense of satisfaction, she shook the
transmitter out of her ear and pocketed it in an invisible compartment of
her gray-black glove. "So..." she said in a low voice.  "That's it."

     "That's it WHAT?"  came an older female voice from behind her, with
a quiet but insistent tone.

     The woman whirled.  "Who--"  Her eyes widened slightly.  For staring
intently at her on the rooftop were two cats.  

     "Oh," she chuckled, smiling.  "You must be new around here, because
I don't believe I've met you before.  Have I?"  One gloved hand reached
out in greeting to the two animals.

     Luna, the crescent moon on her forehead glowing dimly, hesitated. 
"You heard me, Catwoman," she said.  "What were you listening to down
there?"

     Catwoman's eyes shimmered softly behind her grey mask.  She smiled. 
"When I..."  All her senses stopped abruptly, and she coughed on gulped
air. "I must be going crazy," she said with a flat edge of sarcasm. 
"Either that, or you just talked to me.. and I wasn't surprised."

     "I'm not surprised that you aren't surprised," said Luna, feeling as
if she were addressing a trusted older sister.  She drew closer to
Catwoman and accepted a friendly pet.  "It seems to me you're tuned in to
feline energy. It's strange for a human, but perhaps it has something to
do with genetics or even..."

     "Enough of this!"  Artemis sliced through Luna's musings like an
arrow and pounced on Catwoman.  She took a step back and attempted to
shake off the impatient furball, but Artemis held on tight.  His claws
scratched against her catsuit dangerously.  "Just tell me," he cried
angrily.  "What are you after, and what's your new power?"

     The woman's green eyes widened and locked with the feline's blue
ones.  Then she laughed.

     Artemis, puzzled, made a threatening swipe with his paw.  "You KNOW
what I'm talking about.  Do yourself a favor and give up before our
friends the Sailor Scouts get here.  They're doing a number on the rest
of your Arkham pals!"

     Catwoman burst into chuckles as if this were the funniest thing
she'd ever heard.  She gasped for breath, and ran two seductively clawed
fingers over Artemis' fur.  "I thought you'd have the smarts of a cat,
especially one that talks," she cooed patronizingly,  Artemis arched and
hissed.  "Please, give me more credit than that.  I don't have any new
powers-- because I didn't escape from Arkham.  I've never BEEN to Arkham. 
I've never been to prison."  She tapped his nose with one pointed claw. 
"Period."

     Artemis stared.  Slowly, the bristles on his back melted into fuzzy
marshmellow fur.  The cat gave a small embarrased grimace and leapt down
to the rooftop below, pausing silently for a few seconds.  Then he
whipped around at Luna.  "WhatareYOUlookingat!?" She answered his
bellowing accusation with just a twitch of the whiskers and a
smug smile.

     "I like to take trinkets.   That's no secret," snapped Catwoman. 
Then her voice softened.  "But I don't hurt people unless they get in my
way.  And when the city's in this kind of chaos, it's no good for me or
for anyone else."

     She sat back and relaxed.  "When the boys from Arkham take this town
for a ride, the Joker's always at the steering wheel.  So I've been
watching his pigtailed sidekick, knowing she would lead me to his home
base.  Now that I know his plans, I'm going to Batman about it.  Don't
look so surprised."  She scratched Luna behind the ears affectionately. 
"After all, I do owe the big guy, and mine's a debt that I'll enjoy
paying up."  Her lips curved upwards in a seductive smile.

     Luna cleared her throat.  "Well.  We are the guardians of the Sailor
Scouts, a fighting team that is here to combat these evil forces.  We
know who staged the breakout and why the escapees have new powers.  You
must tell us what you know about the Joker's plans."

     Catwoman arched an eyebrow suspiciously, then smiled.  "All right
then. Here's what I heard..."

**

     Heads turned as the tall brunette sauntered down the boardwalk.  Her
green eyes gleamed as she threw flirtatious winks at the local boys, who
stood transfixed by her presence.  Her hands in the pockets of the black
leather jacket, the mystery woman coolly took in her surroundings.  One
boy, obviously the centre of attention, turned away from his group of
friends to gaze at her. Their eyes locked and the girl, equally dazzled,
whispered, "He looks just like my old boyfriend..."

     "Yeah, right!"  Lita cut her romance novel fantasy short by kicking
an obstinate pebble into the murky river.  The squalid docks were hardly
so cool as her "boardwalk," though they were every bit as shady. 
Warehouses, most of them condemned, crouched in dark pools of shadow, and
figures lurked in their doorways.  The occasional crowd of rebellious
teens passed by Lita on their way home from arcades or clubs, or just
congregated around a wooden post and shook cigarette ash into the river
water.  The only second glances she got were startled reactions to the
loud K-r-u-nch of a soda can, flattened under Lita's angry foot.  

     Boredom was Lita's archnemesis, and it finally spurred her into
action.  She started to sprint down the docks, growling.  "Split up, says
Luna," she muttered to the deep syrup beneath the wooden slats.  "Okay,
so we split up. Why?  To find the action, but noo--"  her feet pounded
the boards harder with each syllable, "no, no, NO!  No action for Lita. 
What a major DRAG!"

     Ahead of her appeared a huge pile of wooden crates, awkwardly
stacked against a warehouse wall.  "Drag!" she cried as she leapt onto
the lowest of the creates.  "No--" she bounded to another one-- "need--" 
another-- "for--" another-- "Lita!"  She stomped angrily onto a red stamp
reading "This End Up."

     A startling crash echoed her landing, and Lita jumped.  It had come
from inside the building!  Seeing a dusty little window above her, Lita
jammed one foot into a crevice between splintery shingles and pulled
herself up.  The rusty frame came off in her hand, and the whole
windowpane with it. Lita set the cracked sheet of glass aside, and
hoisted herself through the opening.

     She tasted dull wood.  Her reckless catapult through the window had
thrown her onto a creaky catwalk up in the rafters.  The dusty wood stung
her scraped knees and fingers, and it was a few moments before she
cautiously raised her head to look down.  Color flooded to her cheeks. 
"Tell me this isn't my imagination again," she grinned to herself.

     The room was piled floor to ceiling with huge boxes.  None of them
looked as if they had been touched for years, but beneath the dust balls
on each box was an official-looking seal.  The molten shadows lay in deep
pools, but through the pools moved darker figures, lumbering ants moving
the boxes one by one and opening them, searching through their contents. 
In the centre, half-lit and half-obscured by shadow, someone was growling
orders in a voice like muddy sandpaper.  Whatever was going on down
there, it wasn't legal.

     Lita saw a spot where the boxes towered up to the catwalk, creating
a hiding place.  She scrambled over in spy fashion, lying low against the
floor, and relaxed.  Grumbling, she rubbed her scraped knee.  "Boxes,
boxes everywhere..."  The bored brunette descended the mountain of
crates, in search of a better view.

     "Come on you mooks!  We haven't got all night!"

     The voice barked so sharply that Lita jumped.  She was now sitting
at the bottom of a pile, watching the proceedings out of the corner of
her eye.  In the patchy, uneven light she could hardly see anything but
silhouettes and an occasional flash of silver in the hand of the
ringleader.  He turned to point something out to his men.  Lita could see
his profile for an instant, and she blinked.  "He looks like my old
boyfriend... only older..."

     "Lita?"

     The word was whispered, but Lita started.  A blond-haired silhouette
put a finger to her open lips.  "Shh!"

     Lita pushed away the cautioning hand.  "Mina!"  she whispered.  The
brown tendrils bounced around her face.  "What are you doing here?"

     "I could ask you the same question," Mina grinned, squeezing her
friend's hand in greeting.  "Anyhow," she continued in the same hushed
tone, "I stumbled across this place on my way home from the harbor.  Saw
this guy and through he might be worth checking up on.  See if he knows
anything about the..."

     "Oh, come off it, Mina," Lita teased.  "You're here for the same
reason I'm still here.  You're here to watch the cute guy."

     Mina's eyes lit up.  "Who?  Which one?"

     "The leader, of course," Lita whispered slyly.  "Who did you think I
meant?"

     Mina leaned toward her friend incredulously.  "You've got to be
kidding me! The BOSS?  Cute?"  Lita returned her stare with a clueless
blink.  "But Lita, I SAW his face!  Earlier, from across the room.   He's
ugly as sin!  Looks like he has warts all over him or something."

     This time it was Lita's turn to gasp.  "You sure it was him?  You
saw his face?"

     "Well..."  Mina looked pensive.  "His profile at least..."

     The two girls stared at each other silently for a moment.  Then they
both turned, looking through the gaps in the boxes at the room's center. 
After a few moments of waiting, Lita and Mina finally got a good clear
look at the man in charge.  Two voices started out as whispers, growing
steadily as they headed for a nearby door...

     "Jupiter..." 

     "Venus..."

     They burst from the shack as their shouts filled the air with stars
and lightning.  

     "--POWER!"

**

     "These... are... the... wrong... ONES!"

     Two-Face growled out of the bad corner of his mouth as he shoved an
open carton to the ground.  Its contents clattered as they struck the
floor or the skull of the poor henchman pinned underneath it.  He
struggled to wiggle free. "But Boss, this is the part you asked for, the
one to activate the laser cannon!"

     "The DOUBLE laser cannon!"  fumed the half-deformed supervillain. 
"Mark 2-X-Y-2!  I've only told you twenty times."  He calmed, and said in
a more measured and more chilling voice, "Maybe I should let the coin
decide whether you're really an indispensable part of my team.  Eh,
Junior Jr.?"

     He brandished in his hand a small circle of silver.  It glinted
dangerously. Panicking, J.J.  started to babble.  "No, boss, hang on,
gimme another shot, I know it's here somewhere!"  He flashed what was
usually a disarming smile.
     "Second time's the charm, right, boss!"

     Two-Face paused to consider this, but before he was able to reply, a
sweet voice echoed overhead.  "Sorry, boys, but your fifteen SECONDs of
fame is up!" As the gangsters lifted their heads, the room flooded with
magical brightness, and a figure appeared atop a rafter.  Another, taller
form emerged a moment later on the opposite end of the beam.  A henchman
mumbled, "What the--?"

     The blonde figure leapt from the rafters and careened down as in
slow motion. "I am Sailor Venus!"

     "And I am Sailor Jupiter!"  A moment after, the other person jumped
from her position.  She crossed in front of Sailor Venus in midair, and
they landed a few feet from each other.

     "It takes two to tango," Jupiter continued, moving with Venus in a
series of battle stances, "and we're the dream team all the way!"

     "On behalf of Venus and Jupiter,"  Sailor Venus chimed in, "we're
sending you back where you belong!"  Both voices cried, "Sailor Scouts'
honor!"

     "Hmm," Two-Face snarled, without missing a beat.  He was clearly up
to the challenge.  "Boys, take a breather," he said as he waved away his
henchmen. They filed out the door. "And as for you... I can't decide
which one of you to get rid of first. Might as well FLIP for it!"  A
quick flick of his thumb, and the infamous double-headed silver dollar
was in the air.  But instead of boomeranging its decision back to
Two-Face's hand, it continued to wheel upwards-- growing larger and
larger with every turn!  

     The Sailor Scouts were frozen.  The coin toss seemed to occur in
painful slow motion and at the same time too quickly for them to do
anything about it.  The next thing Sailor Venus knew, she was making a
terrified leap in the air, escaping the giant coin which had very nearly
landed on her!

     "Yipe!" she squealed, heart pounding.  The coin, meanwhile, had
bounded back as if a trampoline lay beneath the floor.  It retraced its
arc from Two-Face's hand, shrinking back to its original size as it
flipped over and over.  The now-tiny coin fell with a plop into the
mobster's cupped hand.

     Sailor Venus gasped.  "I thought he flipped a coin to make
decisions!" she breathed in horror.

     "I do," snickered Two-Face with the wickedest of smiles.  "Just a
flip of the coin-- and all my problems are solved!"  His voice scraped
like gravel across a low road, meaner by the minute.  "Let me
demonstrate."  And the coin went flying again!

     "Well--"  shouted Jupiter, between frantic jumps as the coin flew
again and again from Two-Face's hand toward the two girls.  "At least--" 
*CKRASHT* "we know--"  *KRAHHKT* "what his new--" *SHHAKKT* "Nega-power
is!"  A close call knocked the words and the wind right out of her.

     Seeing the coin about to bounce back, Sailor Venus suddenly pivoted. 
""Enough of this," she cried.  A gust of wind moved her heavy cloud of
hair as the blonde warrior extended her arms in front of her.  The
fingers of one hand rested in a "v" on her other wrist.  "Venus
Crescent... aaaaahhhh!"  The coin was too quick.  It flipped in and out
of Two-Face's hand before the Scout could finish her attack, and knocked
her over.

     Sailor Jupiter, meanwhile, had leapt atop a crate and was crouched
there looking quizzically at Two-Face.  He felt her stare, and the
chaotic leapfrog ended as his fingers closed around the lucky coin.  He
glared back, trying but failing to intimidate the girl.  She just stared
back with pensively puckered lips.  Finally, his unease burst forward
with a growl.  "What are you staring at?"

     She acted as if she'd been jolted from a daydream.  "Hunh? --Oh. 
Well, it doesn't seem right, that coin... but never mind."  Behind her,
Sailor Venus sensed that her friend was putting on a show, but hadn't a
clue where it was going.

     Two-Face looked insulted.  He gave an angry snarl.  "What do you
MEAN not right?  The coin's always right.  Because it's always just plain
random."  His attention turned (as most villains' attentions do) to
explaining his unique philosophy.  "The two Sailor Somethings threaten
me... and I hate a pair of fools.  So the coin offs 'em."

     "But there aren't two of us," spoke Sailor Jupiter boldly.

     A bullet might as well have hit Two-Face, for he stumbled backwards,
bewildered.  "What... did you say?" he rasped.

     She continued flippantly.  "There aren't two of us.  Changes the
whole situation, doesn't it?"

     Two-Face looked at the coin in his hand and mumbled.  "Yes, I
suppose it does..."

     Jupiter took a long breath in, and hung on the edge of her first
word before plunging into a hyperspeed soliloquiy.  

     "Wellllllll...

     "There are five Sailor Scouts total, right?  And Sailor Moon is our
leader. Now the question is, which one of us should you try to knock off? 
I mean, it's hardly a victory unless it's a double whammy, right?  Now
Sailor Mercury was the second scout to appear, unless you count Sailor
Venus, who operated solo before Sailor Moon arrived.  In which case
Sailor Moon's number two.  But since Sailor Moon's the leader, that makes
Sailor Mars the second member to actually JOIN, if Sailor Mercury was the
first.  Or if the Sailor Scouts were actually born AFTER Sailor Mercury
joined, which makes it a team, then Sailor Mars was the first to join,
which makes me the second to join.  And Sailor Venus is the only Sailor
Scout that's gone by two different names, and she has an attack that uses
two crescent moons..."

     Venus, who had gotten the drift, now jumped in to challenge her
final sentence.  "And Sailor Jupiter was the SECOND to last to join the
Sailor Scouts, not to mention she always has her eye on at least TWO guys
at once!"

     "And Venus reads TOO many romance novels," Jupiter growled. 

     "Now, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars both have two attacks," prattled
Venus with a blindingly charming smile, "unless you don't count Moon
Healing as an actual attack, in which case it's only one, or if you count
that amazing thing she did a few weeks ago at the Starlite Tower, in
which case it's three.  But Sailor Mer--"

     As the girls chattered,  Two-Face slowly backed away, his hands on
his aching head.  The Scouts were inflicting severe sensory overload on
the tormented criminal.  "Too many twos-- too many choices-- they all
sound right-- but what do I choose, what... do... I ... DO??"  His
frustration finally built into a scream of outrage that cut Sailor Venus
off in mid-babble.  Unable to do anything else, he flashed open a tight
fist and unleashed his coin once more.

     It flew towards them, but this time, Sailor Jupiter was ready.  She
lashed out with the fury of a typhoon.  "Jupiter... Thunder... CRASH!"

     The crackling blast of energy hit the coin head-on, sending it
flipping back towards Two-Face.  Stunned, he flailed his arms in front of
him, trying to catch the unruly weapon.  It collided with his
outstretched hand.  He gave a yell of pain as electricity surged from the
coin and sent shocks through his body.  Sailor Jupiter gave a nod to
Sailor Venus, who pointed her finger right at the coin.  "Venus Crescent
Beam SMASH!"  A sharp ray of golden energy cut right through the coin,
leaving it a blank silver washer with no center.  Both the faces were
burned through.

     Two-Face collapsed onto his knees and wailed pitifully at his coin. 
"Noo..." The last jolts of electricity passed down through the floor, and
he stared at the now-useless piece of metal in his shaking hands.  "My
coin..."

     Venus looked at Jupiter.  "Maybe that was a little rough of us.... 
after all, he is kind of dependent on the thing isn't he?"

     Jupiter shrugged.  "I'm sure the doctors at Arkham will make him a
new one." She grinned at Two-Face triumphantly.  "Hey... at least it'll
buy you a pretty  decent donut!"   Her friend laughed, and the two walked
towards the door.  "Nothing like Scout power, eh, Venus?"

     "You better believe it!"  the blonde Sailor answered, smiling
enthusiastically.  "You know, it's too bad... for a moment there I though
maybe there WAS a cute gu..."  

     She stopped short.  Sailor Jupiter looked alert as well, and opened
one closed hand.  In it sat a tiny purple calculator, so solid and real
that one would think Jupiter had been holding it the whole time.  In
truth, though, it was a special communicator, one of the many magical
objects that simply appeared when the Sailor Scouts needed it.  The
device was emitting a small but firm beeping, and at the touch of a
finger, the circular display filled with static.  Then the static melted
and Luna's face appeared.

     "Hey, Luna, what's up?"  Jupiter spoke enthusiastically into the
communicator. "We just trashed this guy good over here..."

     Luna's serious expression halted her babble.  The cat spoke
earnestly.  "You girls are needed in Gotham Square right now.  The
Joker's about to drain energy from the whole city!"

**

SAILOR SCOUTS IN GOTHAM (part 5)

***************************************

     Shadows.  Smoke and noise.  A darkened alleyway beating with the
ardent pulse of a frenzied city.  Someone's crooked curtains casting a
triangle of light upon the rotten concrete ground.  Two pairs of
footsteps pounded through the patch, kicking up pebbles and dust.  Above
them, the sky lay heavy and luminous, yellow light accenting the grey
clouds.  The Batsignal sprawled fat across the sky.

     Elsewhere, someone else rushed earnestly down the street, long hair
flying and catching golden sparks in its purple web.  From another
direction, a slight girl wove her way through an obstinate crowd, not
letting anyone slow her down.  On a rooftop, two cats scampered as fast
as their paws would take them. And at a busy intersection near Gotham
Square, a girl took a running leap and vaulted over the traffic jam to
land on the other side.  Finally, five serious Sailors gazed at each
other, standing in a loose circle on a rooftop.

     Luna paced in the center.  "Listen up, girls,"  she said slowly and
seriously. "The Joker has hijacked a new public address system that
broadcasts sound throughout Gotham Square.  Somehow, he's going to use
that system to attack the whole town.  Now I don't know exactly how, but
you can bet the Negaverse has made him stronger.  So you girls have GOT
to be on your guard.  We have to stop him."

     "We're going to have our work cut out for us on this one," Sailor
Mercury said with a purposeful stare.  "The Joker is not just someone
who's been put under Zoycite's spell.  He's dangerous anyhow.  And we
don't know how he operates."

     "That's right, ladies," said a deep voice from above them.  There
was a chilly fluttering of wings.  "Which is why you're going to listen
to me."

     The Sailor Scouts looked up.  A deep blue cape shot down towards
them, much darker than the reddish Gotham night's smog.  Wearing the
cape, the most huge and terrifying of figures, black and solid and
ominous.  Sailor Moon stuttered, "Batman!" as his freefall came to a
stop, and he stood powerfully in the center of their circle.

     The two cats scampered behind their mistresses, and looked out from
behind red boots and orange shoes.  Batman turned in a slow circle,
staring at each girl for a long and terrifying moment.  The ends of his
cape flickered in the chilly breeze.  No one dared speak a word to him.

     When he was ready to speak, he did.  "The Joker wants me.  He
doesn't care about you.  So I'm going after him.  You five will try to
stop his plan from working.  Disconnect the P.A. system.  And look after
the citizens.  Don't go after Joker."  The low, brusque voice stopped as
abruptly as it had started. The Sailors still stood, awed and silent.

     It was Sailor Venus who first got the courage to speak.  "So...
you're allowing us to help?" she said, in a strangely bold voice.  Her
eyes looked deep into the fiery slits of the Batman's mask.  

     "It's not as if he's got much of a choice," said a lighter voice
from behind them.  Venus wheeled around, took in a sharp breath, and then
lit up like a Christmas tree.  "We've been watching you,"  Robin
continued as he leapt down from his perch.  He landed next to a thrilled
Sailor Venus.  "And we've been checking up on you too.  Looks like the
Sailor Scouts are the real deal after all."

     "We sure are!"  affirmed Sailor Moon insistently.

     "Sailor Moon," said Robin, walking towards her.  "We hear you
stopped a bank robbery a few weeks back.  Saved some window washers from
falling too.  Not bad work."  Across the circle, Sailor Mars started to
giggle.  Robin looked curiously around at her, and then at Sailor Moon,
who had developed a very nasty scowl.  Mars attempted to restrain
herself.  Robin asked, "Care to share, Sailor Mars?"

     "Oh... sorry..." Mars replied, trying to swallow her smiles.  "It's
just that..."  Sailor Moon scowled, and Mars shrank, but the silly face
only made her laugh all the harder.  "...Well, it wasn't even her."  

     Robin raised an eyebrow, and looked doubtfully at his senior partner

     Sailor Mars smiled coyly at the cape-clad crusader. "It's truue
though!  It was that sleaze queen Zoycite.  Can you believe it?  A
cross-dressing Nega-general was a better Sailor Moon than she was.  Now
if you're looking for someone to fight evil..." she went on as Sailor
Moon's face slowly reddened in anger. The Dark Knight stared down at the
raven-haired kid who was now batting her eyelashes like crazy and giving
him the sweetest of smiles.  "If you're looking for a real fighter, I'm
your girl.  Don't you think?"   

     Robin's cackle interrupted her flirtatious story. 
"Hahahahahahahahahaha!   A cross dressing general from the planet Nega? 
Sounds fishy to me.  Tell me another one.  No, wait, I've got it.  A
cross dressing Amazon with a FISH on his stomach!  Now that's a fish
story..."  His chuckles were like music to Sailor Moon.  She silently
thanked him and hoped that the Dynamic Duo didn't know the truth.

     "Now come on," Batman continued, motioning slightly to Robin.  "We
have to go." A moment later, the sculpted ends of his cape were all the
Scouts could see of the Dark Knight, as he plunged over the roof's edge. 

     Robin ran rapidly after his partner, waving briefly at the five
girls. "You stay out of trouble, got it?" 

     "Oooh, we will!" enthused Sailor Venus suddenly.  "You bet, Traffic
Light Knight?" 

     Robin stopped dead in his tracks "...Whuuut?" the other girls
groaned and looked away embarrassedly.

     Venus, now a unique shade of pink, sidled up to her "Knight"
affectionately.  "Um,  Traffic Light Knight?" she said in a voice
dripping with sweetness.  "Could you... maybe... give me a li'l kiss for
good luck?" The enamored Scout ended her sentence with a disarming smile.

     "Well..."  Robin felt very weird, but he also didn't mind hanging
out with five lovely teenage girls.  He shrugged.  "Couldn't hurt, I
guess!"  The four spectators and two felines gaped as Robin brought his
head down towards Venus'.  Three endless seconds as he moved closer...
closer... (Venus's head swam)... closer...

     And then his lips brushed her cheek, and time snapped back into
focus. Robin barely had time to straighten up as he was accosted by four
squealing girls, each demanding their own good-luck kiss.  The clamor on
the building was ridiculous. Finally Luna shouted, "EnOUGH!  We've got to
get a move on!"

     The superhero separated himself from his fan club and took a step
back.  "I really DO have to go," he said apologetically.  Five faces fell
with a disgruntled groan.  Robin reached for his grapnel.

     "Waiiiiit a minute!" Sailor Moon snapped suddenly, giving a
determined little grimace.  "I'M the leader, and I-I-I deserve a kiss for
good luck!  If you kiss me, it'll be good luck for ALL of us."  She threw
a look back at Sailor Mars.  "And it'll save the rest of you the
trouble."

     Mars turned her back.  "You can have him.  I've got higher
ambitions." She posed decisively on the rooftop.  "I'm going after
Batman!!!"

     Jupiter cracked a smile at the scene.  "Yeah.  Right.  I'd like to
see that."

     Sailor Mars wheeled and opened her mouth, but Robin interrupted. 
"I'm sure you'll do fine."  His grapnel caught on a distant crevice, and
in a flash the caped hero was off the building.  As he swung away, Robin
turned back for a half a moment, saluted, and shouted, "Catch ya later,
Meatball Head."

     Her eyes pie plates and her mouth wide open, Sailor Moon ran towards
the roof's edge.  But Robin was already gone.

**

     "Ladies and geee-yEN-tle-men!!!"

     The voice resounded off a thousand rooftops.  The glass panels of a
skyscraper vibrated slightly.

     "Live, from this bee-you-ti-ful city of Gotham, coming at you direct
from the flashing lights (and flashing perverts) in glamorous Gotham
Square..."

     Even for the Square, with its religious zealots, and Rolex hawkers,
this was loud.  A few people came to their apartment windows curiously. 
Tourists and theatregoers looked behind them and up at the huge TV screen
that towered over the district.

     "It's the loudest, lewdest..."  There was a slight pause.  People
went along their way, chalking the voice up to some unseen street show. 
That is, until the amps shrieked. Gotham Square vibrated with the force. 
"Heyyyyyyyy!" screamed the disembodied voice, as if hurt.  "I go to ALL
this trouble and you're not even listening? I'm CRUSHED!  I'm SHATTERED!" 
A sly chuckle.  "And you know what they say... turnabout is fair play!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."

     Glass on nearby office buildings began to quake quicker and quicker,
as the loud hysterics continued.  A potted plant fell off a twentieth
story balcony, cracking over a young mother's head.  Her baby played with
the soil that fell into his stroller.  A seven-foot-tall wooden barricade
toppled over, the huge "X" in "TIX*TIX*TIX" landing squarely on a car. 
Slowly, the city began to fall apart.

     "Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"  Railings on balconies came unglued. 
Car windows shattered.  People lost their balance and fell to the ground.
Families huddled together in stone doorways.  A gargoyle rumbled
ominously on a cathedral wall, his sharp beak threatening to take a nose
dive.  Through it all, that hideous laughter, bouncing off a thousand
billboards and shrieking through the city's night.

     And then, it stopped.

     The voice paused, a few fading chuckles wobbling through the air. 
The city was intensely quiet.  Even the stony-faced cab drivers had poked
their heads out the window to see what would happen next.

     The mysterious speaker cleared his throat.  "Ahem, much better. 
Much better. All right... and NOW, for the first time ever... the
loudest, lewdest, crudest, rudest, sadist broadcast ever to HIT the
Gotham scene..."  At the word HIT, a glass window fell from its frame and
shattered dangerously on the pavement.  "...Ladies and gentleman... it's
the Joker show!!"

     Spotlights flipped on and circled the sky maniacally.  Other
spotlights, from the top of the tall centre tower, shed their light on
the frozen spectators and the unmoving streets of Gotham Square.  Circus
music trumpeted through the speakers.  One searchlight, bearing the shape
of the Batsignal with a huge line through it, hit a cloud, disappeared,
reappeared in another part of the sky, turned off and on again several
times, always in a different places.  

     As the light show progressed, the Joker's voice returned.  "And
here's your host, on W-N-U-T, the man who puts the FUN in
dysFUNctional... yours truly, theee Joker!!  Thank you, thank you, thank
you," he said to himself as canned applause echoed behind him.  "You know
the funniest thing happened to me while I was breaking out of the asylum
the other day...  there was this guy, just kind of floating there!  No
kidding folks, I mean he was floating... Called himself Mister Homicide I
think.  Or Mister Suicide.  The weirdest thing though, he didn't even
want to kill anybody, he said he was a lab mouse trying to take over the
world, I think  Pinkycide?  I don't remember.  Anyway, yeesh!
Taking over the world!  Who'd WANT to?  And they call ME crazy!
Hahahahahahahahaha!"

     The dreaded shrieks erupted through the street, causing a hundred
more windows and balconies and stones to fall.  A panicked wail rose up
from the street.

     "Whoo!  Anyhow, well, confidentially, the guy was a NUT," Joker
continued in a teasingly condescending voice, "but he taught me how to
throw my voice.  Well, not like that Ventriloquist fellow.  But now, when
I laugh, the whole world laughs with me! Hahahahaha!"  And just as he
said, the whole square vibrated in reaction, sending a million more
pieces of debris crashing down onto the people below.  "Or, at least,
they sure hear me, don't you?  Well, you guys are being a great audience,
because unless I miss my guess, he's down there right now collecting
energy from you.  Oh, did I MISS that part?  He's collecting energy? 
Joker, he said to me.  Yes? I said?  I want you to go out and wreak a
little havoc, he said.  Oh, Noooo sir! I protested.  I just want to
entertain!  To make people smile.  To loosen UP this Godforsaken town! 
And he said, that's JUST what I want you to do...  hunh?"  His voice
wavered, as if hearing something strange.  "Oops, just a moment folks,
technical difficulties..."  The amps made a choked noise, then it let up. 
"...Aw.  It doesn't matter.  So.  Anyway.  This Pinkycide fellow said,
"I'm just going to collect energy for the Nickle-verse or something...
Nega? Nega-worse..."

     "The Negaverse," announced a triumphant girl's voice, through the
same speaker.  Her tones resonated more pleasantly through the area, and
people looked up in surprise.  "And you're NOT going to win!"  At that
moment, that one searchlight turned off and on again in a different
direction.  But its beam of light bent, fragmented, because five
silhouettes stood in its way.

     "Uh, is this thing on?" the girl in the center looked confusedly at
the microphone she was holding.  Another silhouette gave her a thumbs-up
signal. The searchlight switched off and more spotlights turned toward
the team.  In an instant, the Sailor Scouts were the main attraction.

     "I am Sailor Moon, the champion of justice!  And I may make a lot of
noise myself, but nothing like this!  And I'd definitely never do it for
the evil forces of the Negaverse.  Be prepared, Joker,  because the
Sailor Scouts are here!"

     A ball of fire shot up.  "I'm Sailor Mars, and I know how to warm up
a crowd!"

     A crash of thunder crackled the speakers.  "I'm Sailor Jupiter, and
when I'm around, the applause is thunderous!"

     Bubbles sprayed forth, covering a billboard in mist.  "I'm Sailor
Mercury, and everyone says I'm too cool!"

     A beam shaped like two crescent moons hit the cloud right next to
the shattered searchlight's ray.  "I'm Sailor Venus, and I know how to
steal the spotlight!"

     The five warriors spoke in unison.  "We're the Sailor Scouts, and
we'll punish you!"

     The Joker said, "Mmmmm..." in a confused, wavering way, and then
spat, "Wait a minute, YOU'RE not Batman!"

     "Smart guy," Sailor Jupiter quipped into Sailor Moon's microphone. 
The innocents, made hopeful by the heroines' appearance, chuckled a
little.

     "ForGET it then," the Joker fumed angrily.  "I only tangle with
Batsy.  Not small-time schoolgirls with Mercury bubbleheads.  Shoo!"

     "Actually," Sailor Venus grinned, "Mercury has the bubbles, but
Sailor Moon's the bubblehead."

     "Am NOT!" Sailor Moon whined.  "Well, maybe a LITTLE, but..." 
Another laugh came from the street.

     "STOPit!"  the Joker finally screeched.  "They're supposed to laugh
at ME!! Not YOUUUU!"  Buildings rumbled and debris fell.  The Sailor
Scouts scattered, leaping from their positions to stem the damage.  

     "Jupiter Thunder, Crash!" resounded, as a huge lightning bolt
reduced a falling gargoyle to sand.  A wooden balcony was consumed by a
bright fireball before it could hit the ground.  Sailor Venus cut open a
car with her Crescent Beam and grabbed up the two small children inside
it, leaping to safety with them.  Sailor Moon vaporized a falling
windowpane with her tiara.  The Joker's protests and screeches couldn't
cause the damage fast enough, as the five resilient Scouts protected the
innocent.  Finally, Mercury grabbed the microphone.

     "That's all for you!" she shouted, and with a touch of her hand,
activated a shimmery blue visor.  After a moment of examining the mass of
equipment, she plugged her computer into it all and punched a key.  With
a huge shriek, the amps cut off the Joker's "Wha--?" in mid-cry, and sat
benignly buzzing once more.

     "Ha!"  cried Sailor Moon, jumping towards Mercury.  "That's that!"

     "Not quite," muttered Sailor Jupiter, looking up towards the
tower...

**

     "--a - a- a-t??" 

     The rest of the Joker's scream went unheard by the people of Gotham
City, but high atop Gotham Square Tower, his henchmen were sure getting
an earful.  The Joker whirled and grabbed the nearest stooge.  "Find out
what's going on! What did that Sailor twerp do?  NOW!"  He threw him
backwards, and the thug ran out the door hurriedly.

     A fellow wearing a pair of headphones looked ardently at the
computer.  "It seems that girl patched into our frequency, with the aid
of a microcomputer, and managed to redir--"

     "I don't CARE about that, man!"  the Joker raged.  "Save the
technobabble and get me my VOICE back, or I'll shatter this studio just
as easily as I did that whole city!"  The headphone man turned back to
his control panel urgently.

     The Joker paced. He wrung his hands and pulled at his hair.  "Sailor
Scouts, Shmailure Scouts, blah, blah, blah," he ranted.  "Stealing my
show.  Don't they know?  NOBODY steals my show!  And nobody talks that
way to me!  Only BATMAN gets to talk that way to me!!  Batman's the only
one who's allowed!"

     "In that case," said a dark voice, "I will, thank you."  

     A pair of eyes glowed in the darkness.

     The Joker turned and stared, then cracked yet another evil grin. 
"BATsy! Darling!  So kind of you to.. *finally*... show up.  I hope your
Boy Wonder and Bat-Girlfriend are doing something about those anNOYING 
pests down there. Really, they came and ruined a classic scheme, and I
was JUST telling Rocco and Henshaw over here," he rambled, waving at two
burly henchmen.  "I was JUST telling them that nobody gets to spoil my
fun like you.  Definitely not those silly seagoing scoundrels!"

     "Actually," Batman said, walking into the light carefully, "I
invited them to help."  

     "Whaat?"  The Joker looked shocked.  "And here I thought you had a
better sense of rivalry than that!  You don't bring outsiders in.  This
is our fight! So, speaking of fight, now that I've had my chance to say
hello..."  He stood, hands on an office chair with wheels. "...Time to
say goodbye!"

     The chair went flying towards Batman, who grabbed it and picked it
up.   The Joker flew out the door, a ripple of laughter escaping his
lips. "...Yahahaha!"  At this sound, a TV screen above the control panel
smashed an inch from Batman's feet.  The floor shook a little.

     Rocco and Henshaw leapt for Batman, and each got thrown sideways. 
They stumbled to their feet and made simultaneous grabs for him, and
despite frantic attacks with the chair, Batman couldn't shake loose.  He
struggled. Another musclebound thug came up from behind, baseball bat in
hand, and raised it dangerously over Batman's head.  He swung the bat
down, but it flew in an erratic arc-- and the thug followed it!  He
crashed to the floor painfully. Rocco and Henshaw looked around, and
there stood Robin, foot extended to the side.  "Whoooops," he said
apologetically to the figure on the ground.  "Did I trip you?"

     Like a lightning bolt, the Batman was out the door.  He threw
himself over banisters, dropping from floor to floor like a night shadow. 
Lower in the tall stairwell, the Joker's feet pounded rhythmically down
the steps.  He giggled gleefully as he fled, and with each cackle the
building trembled and Batman clung to the column's unsteady frame.

     The Joker exploded out of the building, grinning in triumph.  "Tough
luck, Batsy!" he called out, turning his head.  "But now it's time to
bring he house down!  Yee hee hee hee hee..."  With a huge rumble, Gotham
Square Tower started to collapse.

     Stones crumbled to pebbles, and the building fell in on itself.  The
people still lingering in the street watched in awe as the centre
pinnacle of Gotham Square seemed to melt, like a volcano disintegrating
brick by brick in a cloud of red-brown dust.  The Batman was nowhere to
be seen.

     The Joker jogged backwards, enjoying the show and applauding
merrily.  As the dust clouds settled, he finally turned around in
mid-step, and found himself face to face with an outstretched hand.

     "Way to go," said Sailor Jupiter flatly, as the clown blinked at her
hand and then up at her.  "You just put on quite a show."

     With one purple-suited arm, the Joker pushed Jupiter aside.  "Don't
have time for amateurs!" he muttered.  But as he got set to hightail it
out of there, Sailor Mars appeared just inches away.

     "Too bad you're not the star of this act," she said, scowling.  The
Joker wasted no time in pushing her away as well, but right behind Mars
was a frowning Sailor Venus.

     She chimed in.  "The great Joker, just a sideshow.  Killing Batman,
just a stunt."  This statement stung Joker's ego, and he plunged head-on
towards Venus.  But she moved away just in time.

     Next in line was Sailor Mercury.  The Joker whimpered.  "What is
this, bowling for Sailors?"  Mercury shook her head.

     "The newspapers tomorrow will have banner headlines, but they won't
say anything about the Joker.  He'll be stuck in a sidebar on page
twelve," she said seriously, and moved to the side just as the others
had.

     "Face it," declared Sailor Moon from her triumphant position: in the
centre of an arc of Sailors blocking the Joker's path.  "You're just a
stooge for the Negaverse.  Kind of a letdown, huh?"

     The Joker let out a long breath of frustration.  But his showman
smile returned.  "Ladies, ladies," he said courteously, removing his top
hat and making a deep bow.  "Once again, you underestimate me!  But
here's a little souvenir for your trouble."  He reached into his hat. 
"One Joker-bomb, hold the mayo, coming right up!"

     The Scouts readied themselves.

     But the TNT and grinning plastic face did not appear when the Joker
pulled his gloved hand out of the hat.  Instead, to his and everyone's
surprise, his fingers had closed around a stretch of straw-colored hair! 
The Joker made a face and pulled harder.  He gave a confused whimper, as
the hair revealed itself as a ponytail... which came attached to a full
head of hair... which popped out of the had with a burst of cherry
blossoms.  It was Zoycite!

     He floated out of the top hat, which fell from the Joker's hand and
thudded to the ground.  The funnyman was dumbfounded.  His jaw dropped to
the floor and his eyes bugged out quite comically.  After a few moments
of slack-jawed staring, the Joker came to his senses and promptly burst
out in a flailing, diva-sized temper tantrum.  "Bah-- bah-- bleaugh! 
What in Bartholomew Cubbins' name are you doing inside my HAT, man? 
Don't you know that's the way you get LICE?  In my hat?  How dare
you?..."  The Scouts, meanwhile, just shifted into battle positions.

     "Sorry," Zoycite sneered, and burst into his trademark giggle.  "But
the Sailor Scouts have a point.  I've been keeping my eye on you, Joker,
and I know you're a glory hog."  The Joker muttered something under his
breath. "You seem like the type who stirs up more trouble than you're
worth, so I'll remind you: You're working for the Negaverse now, and
believe me--"  Zoycite paused and lowered his eyes slightly-- "you DON'T
want to anger Queen Beryl."
     
     "Then you picked the wrong man for the job," said a deep voice from
behind them.  Sailor Moon smiled broadly.  Sailor Mars dropped her battle
stance like a hot potato and waved happily.

     "Look, I don't know who you are or why you're doing this to the
people of Gotham City," said Batman, his dark figure looming huge and
fierce atop a pile of rubble.  "But the Joker won't stand for anything
less than a starring role. And as for me," he continued, scowling deeper
and locking his eyes with Zoycite's, "I won't stand for ANY of it."

     Seeing Zoycite and Batman's staring contest intensify, the Joker
took advantage of the moment to tiptoe away from the circle and escape. 
That is, until a pair of black spheres on a whirling string locked around
his ankle. It was his "Oof!" as his chin hit the ground that alerted
Sailor Moon, and she looked around with a grateful smile at a flickering
yellow cape and a green-gloved thumbs-up. 

     Zoycite just looked at Batman, his brown eyes probing the hero's
ominous scowl.  It wasn't enough to scare the general, but it was enough
to freeze him.  Especially so because Zoycite was still feeling
vulnerable from unwittingly reminding himself that this Gotham adventure
was his last chance.

     Comfort came to Zoycite in the form of a gray cloaked figure that
materialized a few feet above him.  Its sudden presence caused Batman to
step backwards, and all the Sailors to gasp.  Malachite floated down to
join his beloved.

     "It doesn't matter anymore," he said in a voice like cold steel. 
"We have all the energy we need, especially after the Joker's broadcast. 
The whole city is just reeking with dark energy now."  He put a hand to
Zoycite's chin and raised his face up to meet his own gaze.  "All we need
to do now is collect it."

     "Don't let them, Sailor Moon," urged a familiar feline voice from
behind the Sailor Scouts.  "If the Negaverse takes all this energy,
they'll be a thousand times more powerful.  We've got to stop them."

     "I know, Luna," Sailor Moon answered in a low voice.  By the time
she looked up, the evil couple were already floating up towards the sky,
ready to drain the energy from the entire town!  Sailor Jupiter tried to
jump at them, and Venus took an ardent step forward, shaking her fist. 
Mars frowned, and Mercury stood, intently pensive.  All four whirled when
Sailor Moon suddenly cried out, "I've got it!"

     Everyone looked surprised.  Mars said skeptically, "You do?"

     "Sure!"  Sailor Moon leapt toward the podium where they had stood
earlier, behind the giant spotlight.  The other Scouts followed her as
she jumped around, grabbing the microphone and finding loads of
unattached cable. "Sailor Mercury, crank these speakers up to full
volume.  We're going to bring this whole city back to normal!"  

     Sailor Mercury got to work, and the others handed her equipment and
stood ready.  The sky was slowly turning blood red, and up in the sky
hovered two people and a gigantic ball of energy, slowly growing as
greenish energy waves floated up from the city.  Luna shouted, "Hurry!" 
The Batman suddenly bolted into a nearby building.  

     "Put a move on it!"  said Artemis.  "They're draining more and more
energy every minute!"   But Sailor Moon was ready.  She stood proudly in
the center of the podium, near a microphone held by Sailor Venus. 
Mercury's computer was patched into the sound system, and she sat with
her VR visor on, staring intensely at the screen.  Sailor Mars and
Jupiter kept a wary eye out for trouble on the streets or in the skies.

     Then, with a flutter of wings, Batman reappeared.  He had set up
several pieces of equipment around Sailor Moon, microphones and
transmitters.  Sailor Moon paused, waiting for the condescending phrase
of warning the Batman was sure to give.  Instead, he simply said, "Anyone
watching TV or listening to the radio right now is going to hear your
voice.  Do it."  His trust flowed through Sailor Moon like new strength. 
She nodded.

     "Moon... Healing... Activation!"

     As the energy radiated from Sailor Moon's crescent wand to the
microphone, and her voice reverberated through the enchanted speakers,
the moondust trail expanded into huge balls of light, exploding out of
the speakers and pouring out of windows in spectacular torrents.  The
figures in the sky winced and rippled, then flickered out like two gray
candles.  The golden light overpowered all the tainted green energy, and
explosions lit up the sky where they met.  In a shimmering snowstorm, the
stolen power floated back down to earth, and the blinding light dimmed
and faded.   More powerful than any clamorous noise, a hush rose up over
Gotham City.  The silence hung still and silver in the air.

     "Oh, draaat!"

     It took the Joker's plaintive wail to bring his foes' gazes back
down to Earth.  He looked up at them all from his sorry spot on the
ground, a ruby red pout on his lips.  "Humph!" he sniffed haughtily.  "I
just shall not stand for such shoddy treatment.  Imagine, the nerve!  I'm
not going to let you seafaring super-simps steal my headlines.  I may be
heading home to jolly old Arkham, but I won't let you five take me
there!"

     Batman turned to face his rival, and opened his arm just enough that
the bluer lining of his cape caught a speck of dying light.  "That can be
arranged," he said.  Silver handcuffs glittered in his hand.

     The Joker crawled miserably over.  "Never thought I'd be glad to see
the Batcuffs.  Whoaboy..."

**

     "Do we really have to leave so soooon?" whined Serena as she set her
overstuffed backpack down on the airplane floor.  A Sailor V doll and a
Gotham Knights baseball cap fell out, as well as several Batman trading
cards.

     "You know we do," said a voice from inside Mina's carryon (who just
wouldn't settle for the luggage compartment this time!)  "This was just a
fluke. Negaverse bases all its attacks in Tokyo, and... uh... Central
Control says we've got to go back and protect the people there."  Luna
shared a snicker with Artemis as they heard the girls quiet at the
mention of their 'authoritative source.'  Little did they know the cats
were winging it, and that Artemis' source of information was a late night
romp to a cyber-cafe.  

     "I'm actually excited to come home," smiled Ami.  "I can't imagine
how much studying I'll have to catch up on."  Serena glared, and Ami
quickly added, "Er, I've also brought some presents for little Jenny
Anderson, the girl I babysit."

     "She's gotta miss you," said Mina, smiling.  "Half the time I call
her sister, you pick up with your sweet little 'Anderson residence!' I'm
starting to think you're part of the family."

     "Ami Anderson," mused Ami.  "What a strange name that would be."

     As the plane readied for takeoff, the girls chatted and giggled.  A
brunette stewardess came by and stood in the aisle next to them, 
demonstrating safety equipment and being completely ignored.  Finally,
the airplane rose into the sky, taking the Sailor Scouts far away from
Gotham City.  Rei had a misty moment.  "I never got the chance to be
alone with him," she said, forlornly looking out the window.

     "Hey, we saved the city," Mina shrugged.   "That's important, I
guess.  Even if we never get to see them again."  The stewardess came by
with drinks, moving slowly down the aisle.  Clouds brushed the plane's
window, sprinkling moisture like tears on the glass.   The wing's flaps
shifted, and Gotham City became a very small dot far behind them.

     The moment was broken when Serena suddenly shouted "Ooop!  My ears
popped!" Chaos ensued, and the brunette stewardess smiled slightly.  She
brushed a renegade strand of hair to the side, and looked at her watch as
she entered the secluded alcove between sections of the plane.

     "Father... those girls who demonstrated the healing power... I
believe I have located them.  They may serve your purpose after all. 
They have just left Gotham City, and I believe they were with my
beloved... the detective...."

                         END