Zoisite collapsed onto his bed, completely exhausted. As far as school went, the last week wasn't so bad. He was in an advanced algebra with Jadeite, but the teacher was a nasty, uptight red-head which Zoisite suspected had never had a good lay in her life. He was in a Philosophy class with Nephrite, the teacher being the same balding superior officer that had given their assignments and who didn't know a thing about philosophy. And last he had an Anatomy class without either of his new friends and was being taught by a rather eccentric young woman whom he rather liked. The only problem was, Zoisite had close to no self-esteem when it came to academics, and immediately was swept up in myriad fears when faced with the prospect of failing. But no one failed in the Dark Kingdom. No one who wanted to live.

And even if they just sent him home... what did he have to go home to?

And training... it was so difficult to be so near to Kunzite, to have the memory of his kindness, and know that it had all been lies, deceit. Kunzite barely ever looked at him, and when he did his eyes were filled with annoyance. He felt betrayed. I wish I could leave, run away, but... where would I go? I'm a killer, a murderer. This Dark Kingdom is the only place where I'm safe.

Briefly, he wondered about his sister. He had left her there, crying over his father. He had never liked Olivia, but so what? She was his sister. She was only ten. A ten year old couldn't survive on her own.

He closed his eyes, trying to mentally smother the headache that was coming on. No such luck. Apparently their powers were centered on destruction rather than creation. Even in his anatomy class, the professor had gone of on a lecture about how it would improve their fighting, 'knowing where to hit'. It had been almost... macabre.

Nephrite and Jadeite were a bit later than he was, staggering in just as exhausted. Jadeite held his head in his hands, groaning slightly.

"If I had known that we were going to have a test on the first week of class I would have let Kunzite-sama blast me and gotten it over with sooner."

Nephrite laughed. "Don't be modest, Jadeite. You're the most intelligent person I've ever met! You probably got a perfect score. I, on the other hand..."

"Cheated off of me, so you'll do fine too."

Nephrite grinned. "Hey, you can't be good at everything. My talents lie elsewhere." Zoisite felt a jolt as Nephrite glanced at him. Could that mean what he thought it meant?

No, he was probably talking about Zoisite's hair or some such lame thing.

"Well, right now my talents lie in falling asleep," said Jadeite, "a pastime that I quite enjoy. G'night." He reached over to shut off the light, casting Zoisite and Nephrite in semi-darkness.

Nephrite shook his head and then glanced at Zoisite. "Hey, you okay?" He asked softly, touching his shoulder gently. Zoisite flashed him a fake smile, but he wasn't sure if Nephrite bought it or not. Eventually, the Zoisite managed to work his way up to his own bed, despite the soreness in his arms, and lie down.

"Why are we so sore, Nephrite? We didn't do anything today."

"Yeah," Nephrite mumbled. "Must be our powers surfacing or something."

"Would you two kindly shut up?" Jadeite asked sweetly, and Zoisite couldn't help but laugh. Somehow, things had worked out. And they would continue to do so, he was sure of it. Smiling, he drifted off to sleep.

Darkness, utter darkness. Julian is sitting alone in the woods, crying over his mother's death. He is only six years old, and she died so young. He tries to dry his eyes as he remembers his promise, hears someone coming.

It is his father. Greg Weiss sits down next to him and puts and arm around him.

"You loved her, she knows that. She'll always be there for you, despite the fact that you can't see her. You have to be strong for her, okay? Your sister needs us both to be strong." His father starts to cry, and Julian smiles at him encouragingly.

"No, father, don't cry. Then they'll know they've won."

"Who, son?"

"I don't know. Whoever it is that takes mothers from us."

Greg Weiss smiles at his son.

Suddenly, the cherry blossoms fade, and Julian is alone. Greg has been out for a long time with his new girlfriend, and Olivia had been crying for over an hour. He doesn't know what to do. Finally, his father comes home.

"Why is the baby crying? What did you do to it?"

"She... knows that you've been out with another woman, dad," he says with biting sarcasm. "She's sad."

"Shut up," his father says, striding into the bedroom. He picks Olivia up and shakes her a little.

"Shut up, shut up!" He repeats.

"Leave her alone!" Julian snatches the baby from his father, and then puts it back into its cradle.

"Don't you talk that way to me, boy." His father drags him to the kitchen and takes a wooden spoon from the drawer.

"No, daddy! Not that!"

He is thrashed again and again with the spoon, so hard that he can't even feel it from the numbness. He knows he is bleeding. His father finishes and throws the bloody spoon into the dishwater.

"Now clean it up, boy! It's your mess!"

Julian does as he is told, biting back tears. Don't let him know he's won.

Julian finishes and walks to the nursery, sees his father cradling his sister gently, singing her to sleep. Fury flashes across Julian's features as the baby coos at him. Olivia only ever cried for him, no matter how much he did for her.

His father puts the baby to sleep, glares at him.

"Go to bed. In the morning, I want you to take her to your grandmother's. She'll know what to do with her." He strides out, leaving Julian alone.

The living room fades, and Julian is back by the lake. Gabriel is sitting next to him, holding him.

"I can make you happy, Julian. Trust me." Julian looks up at the silvery man, smiling. He has never trusted anyone like he trusts Gabriel. Gabriel opens the gateway again, throws him inside.

"Gabriel..." he says, looking around. Gabriel appears and Julian runs to his arms. He buries his face in Gabriel's shoulder.

"I love you, Julian." Yes. Gabriel kisses him softly, so that little tendrils of fire run through Julian's veins. Then, suddenly, Gabriel pulls away. He is no longer beautiful, he has a scowl on his face, his eyes are narrowed angrily.

"I lied to you, Zoisite. I will never love you. You are nothing but a foolish naïve child, and you amuse me. Cry again, little sissy. Cry like a baby." Suddenly, Kunzite changes into his father, carrying a leather belt.

"If you're mother were here she'd straighten you out." His father hits him once, twice, and Zoisite cries out in pain. He hears Kunzite laughing in the distance.

"You are a fool, Zoisite. You need to be punished." He sees his father with a long ice crystal poised over his back.

"Time to pay the piper, little faggot."

"No!" Zoisite sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily. There was wetness on his face, and with a start he realized that they were tears. His breathing calmed.

"Zoi? Are you okay?" Nephrite's head peeked out over his bed, his expression worried.

"I.. had a nightmare." Nephrite climbed down and sat next to him, putting an arm around him. Zoisite felt a jolt of desire, but kept it hidden.

"What about?"

"My past," Zoisite whispered, closing his eyes to shut out the memory. So vivid... how could he possibly forget what had happened?

"You never told me about your past."

"I don't want to talk about it now."

Nephrite nodded, eyes sympathetic in the dim light. He really was beautiful, with those high cheekbones and that lovely hair. Zoisite suddenly felt achingly alone. He wanted to touch Nephrite so much... to be touched. No one had ever touched him in concern like this. No one except Kunzite.

Yes, but that was a lie. Nephrite isn't lying.

Suddenly feeling a bit angry and a bit impulsive, Zoisite leaned forward and planted a tentative kiss on Nephrite's mouth, a mere brushing of the lips. The other boy seemed startled, drew back as if Zoisite had burned him.

Zoisite looked away, ashamed. "I'm sorry."

Nephrite sat there for a moment, and Zoisite was almost afraid to look at him. When he did, he saw a strange expression on his face. Like hunger, but more ardent. Nephrite pulled him back gently and kissed Zoisite with a determination that astonished him. Nephrite's lips moved over his with growing passion, and slowly his eyes closed. He felt his stomach tighten and trembled slightly. He had never been touched this way. Nephrite parted his lips with his tongue and Zoisite gave a little whimper when it touched his own. Nephrite's desire was obvious, and Zoisite felt a surge of his own under his touch; his heart beating faster, his breath quickening. It felt good to be wanted like this. Nephrite cupped one hand behind Zoisite's head, tangling it in his hair as he continued to explore Zoisite's mouth gently. Nephrite's lips were so soft, yet so insistent. Zoisite wondered vaguely if Kunzite's lips would feel that way too.

Kunzite...

Zoisite pulled away, much to Nephrite's astonishment.

"I-I'm sorry, Nephrite. I'm just anxious, that's all. I-I have a lot of demons in my past."

Nephrite seemed disoriented for a moment, but nodded graciously. He watched Zoisite a moment longer before climbing back up into his bed.

"If you get anxious again, you know who to call," he said, slight wonderment in his voice.

Zoisite couldn't help but blush. What is wrong with you? Nephrite is nice to you, Nephrite cares about you, Nephrite wants you! That's three out of three, and the person you're thinking about hasn't even gotten to one yet!

But I don't love him. Maybe I'm just being stupid.... Well, I just blew it with Nephrite. May as well forget about it.

But he couldn't forget, and he didn't sleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Zoisite suffered from his sleeplessness. He got out of bed and into an immediate headache. Dimly, he thought that perhaps the shower would wake him up, but there was no such luck for him. It merely made him want to sleep.

He staggered out of the shower and dressed without thinking, and Jadeite, already dressed and ready to leave, chuckled. "Sleepless night?" he asked humorously.

Nephrite watched him from the top bunk where he was perched.

"I had... nightmares," Zoisite mumbled, brushing his hair out.

Nephrite got up and climbed down.

"Here, let me." He murmured, taking the brush from Zoisite. Their eyes locked for a moment, but neither said anything.

Jadeite remained oblivious. "Well, don't let Kunzite know that. I think he would kill you to know you had dreams at all."

Zoisite nodded dimly, trying to keep his eyes open.

"Wow, you really are out of it, aren't you? Those must have been some nightmares."

Zoisite shivered as Nephrite lifted up Zoisite's hair, his fingers brushing Zoisite's neck in the process.

"Yeah. Nightmares... about my father."

The brush in his hair stilled, and Jadeite raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? What was he like?"

"He's dead. So's my mother."

Jadeite's face fell. "I'm sorry."

Zoisite could almost feel Nephrite's gaze on the back of his head. He turned around to see Nephrite staring at him in utter sympathy, the brush forgotten.

"Look, if you aren't going to brush it you could at least let me do it." He said with a slight smile.

Nephrite blinked at him, then shook his head. "No- I've got it." He brushed Zoisite's hair again and braided it quickly, standing up rather abruptly when he was done.

Zoisite couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt; he shouldn't be treating Nephrite this way. After all, he was the one who had initiated the kiss. Nephrite had just been brave enough to proceed with it.

They trudged to the training room, Zoisite cringing as he thought of what he would have to do that day. No more simple blasts. They were going to have to actually be athletic. He scowled.

But as they entered, something seemed different about Kunzite. He seemed... not his usual cynical self. There was something bothering him.

His eyes flashed on Zoisite's for a second, and Zoisite felt a twinge of anticipation. He pushed it down; he was doing that a lot lately.

"Please stand at the center of the room," said Kunzite.

'Please?' Something is definitely bothering him.

"Today we are going to spar. If you don't know what this means, you'll find out soon enough. I'm pairing Jadeite with Nephrite, and Zoisite with me, since he seems to be so keen on blasting me. The only rules are you don't use full energy, as we don't want to fry our sparring partners on the first day. Begin when you are ready."

Zoisite followed Kunzite to the left side of the room, more nervous than he could ever remember being.

"Well, Zoisite, ready to take revenge on your most hated adversary?"

Zoisite could only stare at him. He... couldn't!

To the right, Jadeite and Nephrite traded minute blasts, chuckling slightly, and then getting more serious as Kunzite glared at them.

Zoisite continued to stare at him. "But... Kunzite-sama..." he started, but knew he couldn't finish that statement. Kunzite was waiting patiently for him to begin. When he didn't, Kunzite blasted his shins so that he fell to the floor.

To the right of them, he could see Nephrite get distracted just long enough for Jadeite to do the same to him. Kunzite noticed this, and scowled.

"Pay more attention to your opponent and less attention to Zoisite, Nephrite."

Zoisite, angered, blasted Kunzite to the floor as well. "I could say the same to you about Nephrite, sir."

Kunzite grinned, and they started to trade blasts as Jadeite and Nephrite were.

Zoisite was amazed at Kunzite's skill. It was as if he knew what Zoisite was going to do before he did. But that didn't make any sense, unless he had let Zoisite take him by surprise those two times on purpose. That didn't make much sense either.

Zoisite got in a few good shots, but none that he could be proud of. He was knocked to the floor more times than he could count. When they were finished, Zoisite felt strangely exhilarated. He felt as though he had slept all night. But... how could that be?

Kunzite let them go soon after that, saying that he was much pleased by their improvement. Zoisite felt pride swelling in his chest as Kunzite smirked at him.

"And you did very well, Zoisite. Few beginners can hold their own against me." Zoisite's smile faded as Kunzite turned abruptly and walked out.

What were you expecting, a congratulatory kiss?

"You okay, Zoisite?" Nephrite asked him softly.

It never ceased to amaze Zoisite how alike their voices were. Could that have something to do with my attraction to him? No, that can't be. I hate Kunzite.

Don't I?