I suppose you want to know why. Why I loved Kunzite, who so obviously harbored serious emotional handicaps; why I didn't love Nephrite, who so obviously cared about me. Who the voice was in my dream, telling me that Tuxedo Kamen would be the cause of my death. I don't have the answers to that, well, except for the latter, but you'll have to wait for that. All in good time.

As for my love for Kunzite... I can't explain that. Sometimes you love the wrong people. As it turned out, I made the right decision. Like Kunzite-sama said, the Dark Kingdom doesn't change people, just brings out what is hidden. We all have dark sides to our souls. All of us. Perhaps that was why I killed my father...

Again, I get ahead of myself. I apologize. I'm more used to talking to myself than to other people.

I won't go through the falderal of what happened in the next five months day by day, because I tell you, the first week was more eventful than any of the others. To see the sides of us the Dark Kingdom unleashed, you have to see us later on, when the 'conversion' takes place. When we become Generals.

I will tell you this; Kunzite and I did not talk seriously again in all that time, and Nephrite and I drifted further apart. To him, I was a possession; to me, he was a crutch. My unrequited passion for Kunzite grew so much that sometimes I had to close my eyes with Nephrite and pretend his voice belonged to Kunzite. It was easier than I expected, but never as good as the real thing. Nothing ever is.

We got our own rooms about the second month, the officials weeding out the other recruits who didn't meet their standards until only the three of us remained. The elusive Queen of the Dark Kingdom, Beryl, had the Generals in charge of those recruits 'disposed of'. Kunzite was the only General left, which created many more responsibilities for him than babysitting the three of us. Of course, I spent most of my time in Nephrite's room. By then, I depended on his touch more than I depended on sleep. Usually I got it more too.

My distraction kept me from seeing the obvious, the truth about why I came to the Dark Kingdom, the reason why the recruits under Kunzite were the only ones left after the first week, the reason for the vigil against the mysterious Moon Kingdom... but that too will be explained in time.

The dreams started up again about the third month, more violent and frightening than ever. I saw a swirling black cape and mask every time I turned around, my fear of my own death pervading my common sense. And there was always that strange premonition, the voice telling me that the Prince of Earth would cause my death. I didn't tell Nephrite this, afraid that he would think it was his fault that the dreams had returned. Despite our distance, he was still the most important thing in the world to me.

Even though I loved Kunzite.

The fourth and fifth months, our powers grew the most. We each had our trademark, although I'm not sure what Jadeite's was. He didn't talk to us much. My trademark was, of course, the ice crystals, and when we learned to teleport, I added a flurry of cherry blossoms in memory of my mother. Nephrite became more and more fascinated by the stars, astrology, all that stuff that bored me beyond belief.

As for Jadeite, he withdrew further and further into himself, sometimes not seeing either of us for weeks at a time. I knew he had started taking secret getaways to earth, where he would watch the sunset. Alone. I never told anyone. If I were him, I would have killed anyone who did that.

I still weep for Jadeite, sometimes. His prison must be worse than mine.

But, I must slow down. I will begin again when the three of us finally came face to face with Queen Beryl, and became Generals.