For the Dark Kingdom fans in need of a fairy-tale romance, a love-over-life tragedy, a "two-souls-become-one" tale of fulfillment and woe... heads turn in the direction of Nephrite and Naru.

But those who want something a little less immaculate, a little less ideal, and certainly a lot more Dark Kingdom, Kunzite and Zoisite are the preeminent couple.

The frustration of attempting to reconcile these two lovers has produced scads of fanfics, none of which are the be-all and end-all of the Kunzite & Zoisite schema. For the fact of the matter remains: while their love affair was certainly interesting, it could never be satisfied.

And it is this lack of satisfaction, this lack of completion, that makes Kunzite and Zoisite's relationship so popular.

But what exactly do I mean by "lack of satisfaction"? Well, let us tell the story as it appears.

We don't know how Kunzite and Zoisite got together in the first place (you'll notice I don't say "fell in love"; you'll see why later). They appear in the show as a well-established item, having evidently been in their relationship for quite some time. But how did it happen? Who made the first move? Was it Kunzite's position as superior that gave him opportunity for sexual dominance over a lovely young creature like Zoisite? On the other hand, was it Zoisite, enamoured with his dear mentor, who poured out his yearning until Kunzite could no longer resist his adoration and beauty? Or was it both? Or was it something else altogether? Now you can see where the frustration begins. And believe me, these versions of the story and more have been used to tell the tale of the two kings.

Secondly, one must consider the way they act towards each other in the show. The lack of satisfaction therein is due to the fact that, right from the get go, we know something is off balance. Their first scene together depicts Kunzite sitting on a great throne of a chair, while Zoisite sits - not beside him - but at his feet. Zoisite has his head on Kunzite's lap, and Kunzite, fondly but patronizingly, is stroking Zoisite's hair. Seriously, we know that Kunzite is of a higher rank and is most likely older than Zoisite, but don't these facades fall away in the throes of red-hot love?

They seem almost awkward together: Zoisite's unwavering adulation being blunted by Kunzite's aloofness. And perhaps were it constantly this way, their relationship would lose some of its appeal over time. But it is the occasional lapse in this distance that makes it all worthwhile. First of all, their physical proximity is really quite endearing. Though the animators never got around to having these two kiss on screen (villains don't kiss, particularly gay villains), Kunzite and Zoisite are constantly clinging to one another in some way.

But here's an interesting side thought: most fanfics (mine included) assume that these two sleep together. What if they don't? I mean, every time they're drawn hugging (in the show-- doujin doesn't count), their hips are about eight feet apart, and they're never hugging front-to-front.

.... Didn't like that, did you? Well, neither did I.

Back on topic, the odd lines said by both characters at various points in the show give us a glimpse into a more hidden tier in their relationship. An obvious one would be the "rose scene", in which Kunzite, in an attempt to assuage a fit of jealously on Zoisite's part, offers him a rose and tells him how beautiful he is. Aw. But really, my favourite line (a line, of course, subject to translation) is a subtle comment dropped by Zoisite in episode #33 (where he dresses up as Sailormoon). After being reprimanded by Kunzite for letting Tuxedo Kamen escape, Zoisite averts his eyes and says, "Don't be cold like that to me."

And oh, the death scene. Zoisite's death scene, that is. The culmination of both the inflexible roles these characters assume, and the lapses that make them so lovable. Zoisite, laid low, has still not forgotten what an honor it is to have his dear Kunzite-sama present when he is dying ("I am happy to die if I am with you, Kunzite-sama"). And Kunzite, stoic Kunzite, keeps asking Zoisite to forgive him. Now, is that out of a true remorse for not rescuing Zoisite from Beryl's wrath, or is it instead coming from a self-consciousness, a desire for Zoisite to relieve him of knowledge that he may have made a morally wrong decision for the sake of duty? Here we go again. But then there is the lapse. Zoisite asks that he die in beauty, and Kunzite, immediately and without disdain, creates a lovely illusion of flowers that Zoisite duly appreciates.

Zoisite tells Kunzite (rather formally) that he loved him, and Kunzite holds him close, leaving it to the viewer to feel the pain as Zoisite dies. Though appallingly animated, this scene is truly the best, because amidst the swirling blossoms, sad music, and the pitiful tableau of Kunzite and dead Zoisite, it feels as though the rigidity between these two characters has finally disappeared. If a little too late.

The next episode is very depressing. But not for the expected reasons. Despite his natural composure, I had rather expected Kunzite to be at least somewhat downtrodden by Zoisite's death. But there he was, conniving away as usual, thinking up plans to trap Sailor Moon. What an asshole, I thought, Has he forgotten about Zoisite already? But then I had to remind myself that Kunzite's a villain and the scriptwriters don't really care about him. So there.

But he has his retribution. For amidst his various less-than-inspired plots to retrieve the ginzuishou, Kunzite does give us some (rather brief) indications that he truly does miss his little sakura. The part where he picks up Zoisite's picture and regards it with the characteristic "anime eye-twitch" (denoting emotional distress) is a favourite of mine. Also, Kunzite, at the moment of his death, calls out Zoisite's name. That was a nice touch.

Ah... but after all this rambling, I have a point. Think of all the webpages, fanart, and fanfiction devoted to this couple. Now think: all of that came from about... oh... 15 minutes of shittily-animated screen time. Total.

That's pretty neat.